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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29303670">Vicegrip</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/akatsukinorequiem/pseuds/akatsukinorequiem'>akatsukinorequiem</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood and Violence, Canon Related, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Eventual Smut, F/M, Forbidden Love, Major Character Injury, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:42:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,189</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29303670</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/akatsukinorequiem/pseuds/akatsukinorequiem</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You're young, talented, and successful. Always helping others, and affirming this with a flourishing career in healthcare. While not everyone understands why you, a Marleyan, insist on continuing to work within the hospital of the internment zone, deep down, a certain Jaw Titan with an equally sharp mouth may be part of the reason behind your dedication to your work. </p><p>While love between Marleyans and Eldians is forbidden, there's no harm in tempting fate a little bit - right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Porco Galliard/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>326</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Bandages</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You slip on your white shoes as you tie your hair back in a loose ponytail--Marley was full of life and it wasn’t even 8am. From your balcony, you could see people parading about the streets, waving newspapers, crying for joy that they’ve captured Fort Slava.<br/><br/>“Finally…” you think to yourself. It had been more than two months since you had last seen the first group of soldiers off for this tour, and since you’d last screened the warriors, ensuring that they’d been medically cleared for battle.<br/><br/>The Mid-East war coincided with the start of your career in healthcare. You had only just been accepted as a volunteer nurse at the general hospital in Liberio’s internment zone. Truthfully, it was more of a military hospital than anything. Eldians as soldiers were always prioritized above Eldians as humans. There were few beds, and fewer staff that wanted to tend to Eldians.<br/><br/>While some tenured Eldians did comprise a lot of the staff, at least half the staff consisted of Marleyans: junior nurses, novice doctors, and volunteers would work there, then transfer to the nearest hospital outside of the internment zone as soon as positions became available. Not you, though. At four years, only a handful of staff matched you in tenure, and not many matched you in skill.<br/><br/>You moved through the ranks quickly and diligently. Most days working during the war were spent as Senior Medical Advisor, overseeing patient intake, medical assessments, health and wellness plans, prescriptions, and just about anything in between at the Liberio General Hospital. But when the warriors were back, or Magath was putting his cohorts through training and assessment, you spent most of the time between the warrior-specific unit in the hospital and the medical wing of headquarters, acting as Chief Medical Advisor to the Warrior unit. It wasn’t a job many wanted, but it was a job you held with an immense level of pride.<br/><br/>Even at a young age, your expertise was trusted, respected by military commanders. You could assess the health in children, determine which individuals may physically find some titans compatible with them, aid in the recuperation after candidates go through rigorous training, and help all the warriors to remain at peak physical condition.<br/><br/>Of course you still worked at the Liberio General Hospital as needed, or on especially busy days, like today. But with the warriors back, you could anticipate the following weeks perhaps being entirely at the headquarters.<br/><br/>Your family has always questioned why you’ve stayed there so long. They’re happy you’re contributing to the health of warriors, as they’re Marley’s key weapons in war, but they’d love nothing more for you to be able to treat patients who weren’t devils, patients who weren’t maimed and traumatized, patients they believe you could see <em>yourself</em> in. But, you could see yourself in these people. Devils or not, they cried when hurt, they ached for their loved ones, they were the ones bleeding on the front lines every day throughout the past four years. You’ve grown fond of them, and especially the Warrior unit.<br/><br/>___<br/><br/>You sling your satchel over your shoulders, spread a clean white smock over your skirt, and grab your identification badge. It made entering and exiting the internment zone so much easier when you could be recognized as healthcare staff. With a small <em>click</em> of the lock, you hurry down the steps of your apartment, and begin to weave through the droves of people on the street.<br/><br/>Saturday mornings were always busy, but the enthusiasm of Marley’s victory spread like wildfire. It had been a long four years. Our enemies were fighting smarter, and had become more skilled than ever against our titan warfare. But, finally, at long last, there was victory.<br/><br/>You take a sharp inhale, trying to anticipate what state the hospital will be in. Not only the injuries from their latest tour, but there are always routine evaluations on all the conscripted soldiers - an assessment of who can fight again, and who should be removed from active service - whenever these battles reach a conclusion.<br/><br/>You recite through what you remember of the newspaper. No warrior injuries had been mentioned, a good sign in that none of them lost their lives, as that would have surely been mentioned. But there was so little coverage of them anyways. Braun, Yeager, Finger, Galliard… all of them remained unnamed in the feature article, only Gabi Braun, not even a proper warrior yet, was named and heralded for her bravery. Apparently our victory had been all because of a 12 year old.  <br/><br/>___<br/><br/>You grab your lanyard and hand your badge to the Marleyan soldier at the gates of Liberio. He gives you a slight nod and motions for you to enter. Crossing along the cobblestone, the energy was just as palpable on the inside of the walls as it was on the outside.<br/><br/>On one end, there were families hugging one another, some sobbing tears of joy, clutching on to one another as though they’ll never let go again. Then, to your left you can already see a line of plainly dressed front-line soldiers awaiting intake - all lined up listlessly, some standing others on stretchers. You sympathetically gaze out to all of them, tightly holding onto the straps of your satchel, closing your eyes and biting your lips in emotion.<br/><br/>No matter who won the war, the hospital today will certainly be full of loss.<br/><br/>___<br/><br/>Upon entering the doors, you immediately command attention. Asking for status reports, ensuring that all nurses and doctors are being as attentive as possible. Four years doesn’t seem like long, but in a hospital where retention is so transient, you’ve moved up the ranks quickly, learning all the ins and outs, and also being able to hold your subordinates accountable.<br/><br/>“Lucy - head to the trauma unit, there’s a patient in urgent need of an amputation, your assistance is needed”<br/>“James, ensure the East Wing gets their prescriptions, update the inventory”<br/>“Dr. Brandt, there’s a new patient in South Wing, Room 5A, weak vitals and head trauma - to be assessed immediately”<br/><br/>It all works like clockwork. You have a knack for pointing out where others are most needed, all while managing your own designated list of patients. You’re halfway down the list, when Gretta, a young Eldian volunteer nurse approaches you and hands over a clipboard.<br/><br/>“Warriors are in, triaged, vitals assessed. Finger seems to be in mild pain, extreme exhaustion. Candidate Grice, Vice-Chief Braun, and Galliard all seem to have incurred head trauma, possible concussions that went untreated.”<br/><br/>You grimace a bit at the notion of candidate Grice being treated alongside the warriors. “Grice is human. He should have been treated immediately, he can’t heal himself - no need to wait for me when it’s critical…” you mutter to yourself.<br/><br/>Noticing the fear in Gretta’s eyes - fearing she made a mistake - you reassure her, “Not your fault dear” you shake, taking the clipboard. “Please take over West Wing intake and assessment, hand out painkillers as needed and document all patients’ statuses. I’ll go back and handle the warriors.”<br/><br/>You grab a cart, stocked with medicines Grice may need, along with bandages, sanitation products, fluids, and food - you truly never knew what to expect, and the warriors were always kept in the far back of the hospital. Far away to ensure both privacy for them, and peace of mind for the Eldians and staff who harboured fears of the shifters themselves.<br/><br/>The warriors, save for Pieck Finger, all healed decently quickly by virtue of being titan shifters. Yeager has always healed fastest, followed by Braun, Galliard’s recklessness often left him in bad shape, and Finger was always in need of assistance walking, at the minimum. By the time they returned from tours, their bodies rarely ever showed evidence of the brutality of war, unlike anyone else.<br/><br/>Your skirts and smock fluttered quickly as you hurriedly went through the hallways, the sounds of beeping and frantic staff sifting in and out of rooms drowns out your beating heart.<br/><br/><em>Finger was always on the list of warriors to assess, she may have good endurance, but she consistently pushes herself past her limits. It makes returning to her human self a difficult adjustment. </em><br/><br/><em>Braun was occasionally on the list. He’s getting older, it’s getting increasingly difficult for him to heal rapidly.</em><br/><br/>But, <em>Galliard</em>, you sigh. <em>The “youngest” shifter by tenure, but his visits have been more frequent, and his injuries more severe.</em><br/><br/>Galliard is someone you’d grown fond of. His tough exterior makes him a common topic in the staffroom during breaks. A frequent offender of soft feelings and kind-hearted nurses often earned him a legacy for being an interpersonal challenge, making him the subject of many laments. He’s definitely the most curt and headstrong of the current warriors, and the most difficult for others to deal with, but that’s never been the case for you.<br/><br/>You tended to his mother many times while you were in training, something which never went unappreciated on his part, even if he seldom expressed it, you knew what little family he had remaining was a soft-spot for the Jaw Titan.<br/><br/>____<br/><br/>You turn into the Warrior unit, much quieter, just one staff on standby, Emma - who you promptly dismiss, directing her to go help in the rooms you passed on the way here. “Make sure people have water to drink and everyone should have clean bandages. I’ll call for you if I need anything.” You bark over your shoulder as she springs up from behind a desk, ready to help.<br/><br/>With a flash of Emma’s red hair disappearing between the doors, it’s just a small waiting room that separates you from the three small rooms that the warriors are spread out in.<br/><br/>You peek into the rooms, “Grice - where are-” you stop in your tracks as you see the small body perched on the bed.<br/><br/>“Falco..?” you say confused. “If anything, I was expecting your brother” you mutter, mildly horrified that the Commander would allow a 12 year old to get so close to warrant a visit to the hospital.<br/><br/>“I’m fine, miss. I promise” He looks up at you innocently. <em>One look at a boy like Falco could be enough to end any damn war</em>, you think to yourself. He’s so young, but has seen so much.<em> Too much</em>.<br/><br/>You take a look at Falco’s notes, his head scans, and begin to check his reflexes and temperature. “Seems you bumped your head pretty hard, huh?” you say, carefully feeling along his skull for signs of swelling. “Notes say you were a little out of it at first, but that was a few days ago. Any nausea or dizziness?”<br/><br/>He assures you no, and you perform a few more assessments before clearing him. Making him promise to alert Magath if he even experiences even a slight headache. Concussions in kids are no joke, and it would be a shame if he suffered anymore while he’s so young. You’ll be sure to chew the Commander out for this one.<br/><br/>After Falco, Braun is next. Again, checking vitals, verifying the notes, and checking for swelling. Poor guy took artillery to the face, and seemed to be in even worse shape than Falco, despite his regeneration. “Bed rest, all weekend.” you declare. “Take it easy, get rest, drink fluids, and you’ll be fine. Give this note to Commander Magath - absolutely no heavy exercise until I can check you again. Understood?”<br/><br/>Sometimes patients really only needed the most simple of treatments.<br/><br/>He thanks you politely, and takes the medication to go. Serious and stoic as ever, but Braun always maintains a sense of responsibility especially after becoming the Vice Chief after Yeager.<br/><br/>Next, was Finger.<br/><br/>Warrior intake had become a familiar routine with Pieck Finger. You get her a crutch, size it up to her. Give some painkillers, some IV fluids to help ease her exhaustion, then a quick physio massage over her leg muscles. “Take it easy, again, keeping up with physio exercises will be critical as you readjust, so please take care.” You pass her a note similar to Reiner’s to give to Magath. Pieck more than pulls her weight as the Cart Titan, so it’s no surprise she should be given permission to take it easy. At any rate, after giving their bodies over and over again, they’ve more than earned days of reprise.<br/><br/>As the three soldiers have cleared out, you pull into the final room, Galliard nods slightly in acknowledgement, his hair mostly slicked back, but a few rebellious strands fall out of place, gently dusting his brow.<br/><br/>Immediately your gaze drops to a splay of bandages across his chest, and discoloration around his knuckles, chest, and collarbone. Whoever dressed his wounds out at Fort Slava did a sloppy job.<br/><br/>“I’m sor-” he starts, but you breathlessly cut him off.<br/><br/>“Po- Galliard- you… you’re in bad shape this time… Really bad shape. You need to stop scaring me like this.”<br/><br/>You push your cart of supplies over and take a seat next to him, slowly tracing over his bandages, but he appears glazed over.<br/><br/>Defeated, as he often is when he comes to you so injured, he shakes his head, “are we the only ones here?” he asks. He’s still avoiding eye contact.<br/><br/><em>“Yes, Porco,”</em> you reassure him, <em>“it’s just us.”</em><br/><br/>He looks up at you apologetically with his warm hazel eyes, shimmering like liquid gold as the bear into yours. He sighs in relief, and you do as well. Tenderly outlining his bandages that were so hastily wrapped. “I’ll need to re-wrap these,” you mutter, and he grunts in acknowledgement. <br/><br/><em>He’ll talk about it when he’s ready</em>, you know, but for the meantime, just being near him and seeing him alive is all you need to placate the feelings you have for him in your heart.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Traitors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for the nice feedback on the first chapter! It's a story I've been planning for a while, but I already have some plans for where this could go, and it's shaping up to be pretty long (imo) for my first fanfic. I hope you all like where this is going and I really appreciate the feedback ;__; &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>_____<br/><br/>The undressing and redressing of Porco’s bandages is intimate as usual. You don’t verbally acknowledge it, but you’ve tended every warrior and candidate at some point or another, seeing their bodies in various stages of distress. Yet, tending to Porco always felt different. The vulnerability of such a strong and brazen man bearing all of his flaws to you was moving. His ego made him a difficult person to get through to, but there was no need for bravado in intensive care. It was a sight for you, and you alone.</p><p>Even as you tenderly peel away the old bandages, prodding at his bare chest to assess the fervent swelling and bruising, the slight heat and steam emanating from his skin, you swear you feel his skin prick up. His faint, thin body hairs standing up ever so slightly in response to your touch. The room was cold and airy, any amount of exposure could trigger a subtle reaction like this from anyone’s. You tell yourself it is only in your imagination, but there’s a part of you that wants to believe that this man does welcome your touch.</p><p>After stripping the frayed bandages and throwing them in the wastebasket, you run warm water in a basin and grab a washcloth. Wringing it out, before bringing it over to him.</p><p>“How’s the temperature?” you ask, brushing the soft, white cloth against the contours of his shoulder blade.<br/>“Feels fine,” he murmurs, looking down.<br/>“Alright, that’s good. Now arms up, this might sting a bit, but bare with me.”</p><p>You give a slight warning as you gently push the cloth over his torso, cleaning the dirt that had accumulated since the first bandages had been applied, being extra delicate over the areas where bruising had formed.</p><p>A grimace spreads across his face and he hunches over reactively as you go over a particularly deep purple patch, just below his collarbone.</p><p>“Shh… shh… it’s okay” you coo, rubbing your free hand down his back. “I know it hurts, but just a bit more.”</p><p>He nods understandably, and you feel him take a ragged breath before regaining his composure, as you maneuver across his body, from left-to-right, one bruise to another, standing over him attentively as he’s perched on the side of the bed. No sounds in this room save for you dunking the cloth into the basin, wringing out the water, and his deep, steady breathing.</p><p>Once he’s cleaned up, you take a step back to put the basin to the side, glancing just a second too long at his bare upper body. You’ve seen it plenty of times, but his muscles always remained sharp and prominent, even through the bruising. His body seemed so perfectly chiseled, and there was the slightest, most endearing contrast between his rugged body, soft face, and deviant personality. It was easy to lose yourself in the thoughts of unwrapping the enigma of the man before you.</p><p>“Why do you look at me like that?” He rasps in his husky voice, finally breaking the silence.</p><p>You cock your head slightly, taken aback by his comment.</p><p>“I’m looking at the bruises. They’re really bad this time, Porco” you chide shaking your head, trying not to blow your cover. Even you knew you had been staring too long.</p><p>“Well, you don’t stare at the others like that.”</p><p><em>Dammit. He’s right.</em> He may be intimidating and outspoken, but he is never wrong when calling people out. And to you, you’ve seen so many bodies in so many states, every single day of your career. But after 4 years of working with Eldians, and taking over the warrior unit’s care, the only one who ever really made you stumble over words or feel nervous was Porco Galliard. And not in a bad way, at all. Your feelings for the man were complicated, but if you’re being honest with yourself, it was more than simply fondness and respect, you adored him.</p><p>You saw how attentive he was when his mother was under your care. Having really tried to step up after the passing of his brother, and being her only close relative, he had no choice but to act as her guardian. You’ve also seen him fall apart, to completely crumble in his early days of being the Jaw Titan - something he never showed anyone else. From the physical strains of pushing his body to any and every limit, to the psychological torment he puts himself through, you knew all of this. You’ve treated him through all of this. He was bearing his brothers’ burden, and yet, could never see his memories. Only saw areas where he could have been a better fit than Reiner on that mission. But that was the past, and his duty for now and the remaining 9 years was to fight for Marley, as often and as fiercely as they required. And it was your job to enable him, ensuring that he was physically and mentally cleared before and after any mission, ensuring the training wouldn’t pose a physical risk to him. Marley trusted you with this task, as did the Warrior Unit, and as did Porco Galliard. The man who trusted himself above nearly anyone else, allowed himself to be entrusted to you whenever he was at his most vulnerable.</p><p>And all of the fondness in your heart would drive you to continue to be a silent pillar of strength for him. Your work was the only way you were able to express your feelings for him, albeit, covertly. But, you knew acting on these feelings was wrong. Hell, even having these feelings felt sinful.</p><p>Marleyans are forbidden to be involved with Eldians. Doing so would jeopardize not only your career, but could also be cause for you and your family to face execution.</p><p>
  <em>It was wrong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So wrong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And yet, the feelings for him were there...</em>
</p><p>You shake your head, trying to think of a way to regain your composure. “The other’s didn’t come in injured like this,” you scold, as you walk over with fresh gauze and bandages. “Titan shifters should heal much more quickly. Even Ms. Finger only had minor bruising, and as far as titan’s go, you’re much younger and should be much more resilient only being 4 years into your term.”</p><p>He lurches back, giving you a puzzled look. “I’m just tired I suppose…”</p><p>You cut him off “-but, if I make you uncomfortable, you’re more than welcome to ask to be seen by other nurses and doctors. As a warrior, you have that privilege. I won’t be offended” you say, stopping a few steps before him and raising your hands in protest. “You need to only give the word. Not even to me, Commander Magath can make arrangements as well.”</p><p>He clicks his tongue as he raises an arm to slick his hair back, supporting his back up against the brick wall, shaking his head as a smirk faintly appears across his face.</p><p>It’s the first time you saw him smile today, and… the way he was posed, his naked torso was on full display - bruises, abs, everything… while other nurses found him difficult and frustrating, so did you. <em>But for entirely different reasons.</em></p><p>“Well…” you look at him skeptically, “do you want me to proceed? Or if you’d prefer, Emma is on stand-by for this unit, you’re familiar with her, right? She can take over and I can leave-”</p><p>He jolts back up, almost a pleading look in his eyes, “No, no - you’re the best this hospital has. I’d be an idiot to request anyone else, especially someone more junior.”</p><p>You sigh in relief stepping forward as he positions himself to be wrapped once again. <em>He’s so hard to read</em>, you think to yourself, unwinding the spool of cloth bandages before beginning to wrap them around his chest, then up over his shoulder.</p><p>“But, look…” he starts, looking directly at you, just as your body is positioned awkwardly among his, you standing in between his legs, gingerly grazing your fingers between his surprisingly soft pecs and shoulders as you try to weave the slightly coarse bandages around him. “You need to make it less obvious.” His tone was dead serious, yet there was a softness to his eyes. At these words, you feel your face blush with heat. In this position, this close to him, there was nowhere to hide. Looking at him, you were face to face, almost at direct eye-level as he sat on the side of the elevated hospital bed.</p><p>You intended to maintain as much composure and professionalism as you could muster, but your words betray you. In a treacherous, quivering whisper, you mutter, “I’m being as subtle as I can be right now.”</p><p>He twinges, his shoulders tightening, until you tap them slightly. “Shh, don’t move a muscle. You’ll mess up my bandages” you say averting your eyes from his, which bore an incredulous expression. Usually you were the speechless one around Porco, but not today. Did you just confess? Indirectly, yes. But he’s smart enough to read between those lines. You know it.</p><p>Your ordinarily steady hands tremble as you try to wrap him as carefully as you normally would. With as much dedication as you would any other patient in this hospital. But he catches you, gently placing a warm hand to your upper arm as a means of comfort.</p><p>“It’s okay to feel things, but we’re... we’re too <em>different</em>. You may spend more time among Eldians than most Marleyans, but you know better.”</p><p>You’re taken aback by it all. The sharp accuracy of his words hurt, but there was a sudden softness in his tone - you quickly pick up on the fact that he’s rubbing up and down your left bicep -- the exact location an armband would go if you were required to wear one.</p><p>You bite your lower lip as you push his arm down and tie up his bandages. Embarrassed and vulnerable. What you said crossed a line, and even though he took it well - <em>surprisingly well, actually, better than you could’ve imagined</em> - it was still wrong and unprofessional. But damn, was it honest.</p><p>Even after he’s bandaged up, you proceed through the rest of the session with care and in silence. Packaging some vitamins, preparing some ointment, giving him a careful bit of physio to free up the tightness. Palming your hands into his jaw muscles. Kneading into his arms and legs, doing your best to alleviate any physical discomfort or muscle strain he may have. All the while saying nothing in an attempt to avoid the emotional unrest within you. As much as you wanted to protest - to somehow lie to both him and yourself that you’re willing to take the risk - you knew the consequences of acting on anything were far too severe to take any chances on him.</p><p>Once done, you hand him his t-shirt and bomber jacket, helping him to get the fabric comfortably over his bandage-wound body, its fabric just barely peeling over his broad shoulders and stretching across his firm muscles. You then hand him a brown paper bag of medications and creams, along with a note.</p><p>“For Magath.” you say, trying to level your tone with the same composure you delivered to every other warrior you tended to over the past hour or so. “No transformations, no strenuous training for at least a week until you’re cleared, understood?</p><p>“I gotcha” he says casually as he takes the package and heads towards the door. But, he stops right as he’s about to open it and turns to face you.</p><p>“By the way,” he starts in his raspy tone, swallowing slightly. He glances over his shoulder, ensuring that the door is still locked. “I know I said you gotta be more careful, but-” he holds a hand out and you wordlessly step closer to him, as he runs his fingers through the loose tresses of hair across your forehead, “hopefully you can rest a little easier now that the war is over.”</p><p>After he runs his fingers through, his hand falls to your shoulder, pulling your ever-willing body tightly into his, holding you closely into the crook of his neck. You can’t bring yourself to say anything, merely closing your eyes and taking in the scent of vanilla and musk that emanated from him. And, for a few seconds, you just let him hold you, before reluctantly pulling yourself away.</p><p>Breathing deeply, “I hope so too.” you say, looking directly into his eyes, his brows knitting together, a barely discernible emotion that could only be pinned down as some combination of both fondness and concern.</p><p>He places his hand back on the door handle, and you motion with your hand that he can leave. “Thank you for your work, Galliard. You’re dismissed.”</p><p>He nods understandingly, and trudges through the hallway.</p><p>You gaze out, watching his blonde hair and dark green jacket fade away through the stretch of blue-gowned patients, metallic hospital tools, and white-coated doctors.<br/>__</p><p>Emma notices him pass through the wing doors and flutters back in, only to see frozen in place.</p><p>“Was he that irritable today?” she asks, taken aback.</p><p>You snap out of it, shaking your head. “He’ll be just fine, they were all pretty roughed up.”</p><p>“It’s been a long war,” Emma admits, tidying up the room. Swapping the sheets on the bed and throwing them into a hamper. “Now that they’re gone, we should open these rooms up too - we need all the beds we can get since we’re already at capacity” you state, attempting to get back in the right mindset.</p><p>“Yes ma’am!” Emma nods in agreement, as you head out to the rest of the hospital to usher more people to the tiny, but newly freed-up wing.</p><p>As much as you can try to tell yourself you’re fully focused on work, there’s a nagging voice budding in the back of your mind:</p><p>
  <em>You may be a traitor for having feelings for Porco Galliard.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But warrior or not, to some extent, you believed that he was a traitor for you too.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Promises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following few days and nights blurred together. Gradually, patients were being discharged, and work was becoming more manageable. Thank Helos. <br/><br/>Then after work, you’d always go home alone. <br/><br/>The way you could always pass by the port, taking in the fresh sea air was comforting, but day-in and day-out it felt repetitive. A routine of isolation that mocked your own incessant solitude. <br/><br/>The downfall about working with so many Eldians was that it made it hard to go out for drinks or hang out leisurely after hours. There were certain privileges they just didn’t have. Meanwhile, many of the Marleyans you worked with despised the Eldians, and only held on to their position at the hospital until a better hospital - a Marleyan hospital - was looking to hire. The negativity and elitism was not to your liking. But even worse, many of them barely acknowledged you beyond the necessary formalities or work-related conversations. You’d earned a bit of a reputation as having a soft spot for the warriors, which in the Eldians’ perspective, was warranted - they were heroes to them after all. But many Marleyan staff saw your attentiveness to the warriors as pandering to monsters. <br/><br/>Truly, you were a social pariah on both ends. The few relationships you did have weren't very deep, but at least they were cordial and friendly. They were better than the lonely alternative and made the long days much more bearable. <br/><br/>People hate what they’re taught, and won’t ever understand others until they put the necessary effort in, but to you, it didn’t matter. You’ve seen enough life and death in your 4-year career to know that everyone ends up buried beneath the same ground. No matter our bloodline, we all submit to the same earth in the end. <br/><br/>In all the nights that pass, your interaction with Porco stays at the front of your thoughts. With Thursday approaching, you knew you’d be meeting with the warriors and candidates for a routine check-in. Probing for any physical changes, and also assessing their mental health and mental commitment - especially for the younger ones and Colt Grice, were they truly prepared for what lay before them? So much of their preparation relied on their willingness, and as much as you wanted to focus on those pressing tasks, your mind always returned to Porco. <br/><br/>Sure, dressing and undressing Porco’s bandages was always intimate. But the way he pulled you into him before he left. There was a rashness there, an urgency. It was hard to tell if he’d ever bring it up again. <br/><br/>He acknowledged that it was dangerous for the two of you to be anything - aside from doctor and patient. <em> Still </em> , you clench your fists in frustration, <em> if he knows what you feel for him is wrong, then what the hell is he doing? Baiting you? Or does he feel the same way? </em></p><p>Either way, feelings didn’t change the fact that you had a job to perform. A job where you need to be as objective and impartial as possible. Your astute nature and efficiency is what you’re renowned for, and even if you did slip up in front of Galliard, you simply can’t afford to let anyone else catch on.  <br/><br/>___<br/><br/>Once you make your way through the HQ, you pass flocks of both Marleyans and young Eldians. No building in Liberio, or probably even all of Marley, had such an even distribution of the two groups. While there was still existing hostilities and tension to a degree, many soldiers would tolerate the warriors. After all, warriors on the front lines kept casualties as minimal as they can be in war. <br/><br/>You passed through the small mess hall where you could see the young cohort of candidate-hopefuls clearing out after breakfast. They started recruiting children as young as 5, and in recent years, have been hosting more and more potentials in the headquarters. The more lands Marley conquered, the more children were sent to live here. And, if they passed the early physical and ideological assessments, they could become candidates. <br/><br/>Currently, only 5 candidates were under true assessment. Gabi, Udo, Zofia, Falco, and Colt. They selected kids with all such unique skills and personalities, each of them appeared to be suited to a prospective titan. While Colt has been selected as successor to the Beast Titan, the remaining four all seemed to be viable options for the Armor Titan, after Braun’s three remaining years were up. At this point, although small, Gabi seems to be the most likely candidate, but you’d be curious to see how she grows a little more, just exactly how the Armor Titan will match to her human self. You’ve read that titans within the same bloodline seem to be stronger, so Reiner and Gabi’s succession would be interesting. It’s definitely a phenomenon that you’d like to experiment and research with first-hand. <br/><br/>Then there’s Falco, honestly, you could see him as a candidate for the Jaw Titan in the future, or potentially even the Beast Titan after his brother should more suitable candidates emerge for the other titans. Udo, you like for the Colossal, should it be returned to Marley. You’ve looked at the notes from your predecessors in the Warrior Unit medical team, and Udo seems to be similar in disposition and physicality as Hoover was, and Hoover had been extremely compatible with the Colossal, mastering it before the mission to Paradis had even commenced. Zofia, you thought, could give Gabi a decent rivalry for the Armor Titan. She was a strong girl, with a sound resolve and an unparalleled ability to maintain composure. There is no doubt in your mind that Zofia could handle any titan and be a great asset to Marley. <br/><br/>Walking down the halls you pass classrooms, offices, storerooms, like all government buildings, the furniture was slightly too formal, and there was a slight dusty smell. But it felt a lot more relaxed than the hospital. You could dress more casually here, just a lightweight dress beneath a lab coat, as well as your slip-on loafers. The air was light and warm as summer was just upon Liberio. The days were sunny and getting longer. <br/><br/>Even with the casual dress, children and soldiers alike recognized and waved to you. The Warrior Headquarters had grown to feel like a second-home to you, mostly due to the people here. While you didn't have many friends, you felt appreciated and respected in your post. <br/><br/>At the end of the winding hallway was a small medical wing, consisting of a reception desk, a storeroom, a nursing office for immediate intake, and a private infirmary room for those who needed more intensive care, as well as your own office. Truthfully, it felt more like an old teacher’s office that had been retrofit for medical purposes. Its warm tones are a stark contrast to the blinding whites of the Liberio General Hospital. You placed your bag down behind your desk, and admired the familiarity of it all. It was comfortable here. <br/><br/>You had been able to personalize your office a bit, adding some photographs of old friends and family - though you scarely spoke to these people anymore, the memories were fond nonetheless. Behind your wide, wooden desk, a schooling certificate proudly framed. In front of your desk, two plush chairs, a couch further back for lounging (or sometimes for Pieck), and then a raised medical bed adjacent, usually for candidates to sit on if you needed to do a more physical assessment. There was also a scale, and measuring chart, and a small cabinet of supplies - bandages, thermometers, ice packs, anything you could need was readily available. Then beside the medicine cabinet was a towering bookshelf containing all the medical records from the past 100 or so years since the inception of Marley’s weaponization of the warriors. Detailing everything from physical details of prospective candidates, how the biology of titan shifters is different from humans, and even physical anomalies in humans that resulted in weaker or stronger variants of titan shifters. Really interesting stuff. And one day, a future Chief Medical Advisor would be leafing through your own records of the current generation, curious about the discoveries you’ve documented. <br/><br/>That thought alone filled you with pride, but that was interrupted by a curt knock to your door.<br/><br/>“Ma’am,” Linda, your secretary pops her head in the door “-your 9-o-clock is here” you nod understandingly, “Of course - send Yeager in” you call out.<br/><br/>And like clockwork, your meetings trickle in for the day. Zeke Yeager smelled of cigarette smoke, and you questioned it constantly. None of the other shifters smoked, so it was interesting to see how it might affect his health, but this man remained an enigma. You compared his records ceremoniously to that of Tom Ksaver or any of his predecessors, and couldn’t deny that there was something special about his titan and its abilities. Yeager may be a once-in-your-career type of encounter. He was particularly talkative today though, responding to your questions in detail. He seemed to be satisfied with his efforts at Fort Slava, and already eager for another mission, which very well could be his finale before passing his titan on. It would be a sad day when he leaves, and you knew it. <br/><br/>Next, Finger came, and still sleepy, she maintained a weak smile as she crawled in.<br/><br/>You always smiled to yourself when she did this, and how unbothered she was with the external judgement. It took her a while to readjust, and you always advocated that she must always do what feels best as she recuperates. It’ll still be a few weeks before she’s standing proper, but her spirits seemed good.<br/><br/>Braun is next, and you ask him how he’s been feeling the past few days. “Have you been resting?” you ask, concerned if he truly listened to your instructions.<br/>“Yes ma’am.” he replies curtly, “alright then, we’re just going to do a quick physical - you look better on the surface, but let’s check real quick.” you motion for him to go sit on the bed, which he promptly obeys.<br/><br/>Flashing your light in his eyes, you check his reflexes, his eyesight, ask if he’s felt any dizziness or weakness. All of which he denies, seeming to be in perfect condition, “well, you can resume any physical training. I’ll give Magath the green light for that” you say with a smile. “And with that, you’re dismissed Braun, have a great day! And, tell Galliard he’s next if he’s waiting.”<br/><br/>And as the tall blonde walks out, the Jaw Titan enters. <br/><br/>You gulp nervously and briefly close your eyes, it was the first time seeing him since Saturday, and the memories of what happened flooded in. “You can shut the door, please” you tell him as you sit behind your desk, unable to read the expression on his face. Prior to your last encounter, Porco had always been loud, boisterous, and overconfident. He’d tauntingly say that you shouldn’t even need to check-in with him, because he’s always fine anyways. But his mood was different this time, and you couldn’t put your finger on what exactly he was feeling. <em>Shame? Guilt? Awkwardness?</em><br/><br/>Well, either way, you have a job to do, and he has an obligation to Marley. You figure the quicker your check-in with him the better, for now you just wanted to focus on the necessities. <br/><br/>“Take a seat, please. Have there been any changes, good or bad in your health, since we last spoke?” you ask in a monotonous voice, turning a new page over in your notebook to slip into Porco’s file after the session. <br/><br/>“Look…” Porco starts, running his fingers through his slicked back hair, his bicep flexing effortlessly as he does this. <em>Ugh. You hated how he did this and how attractive you found it</em>. He takes a deep breath, before learning forward, and staring directly at you with his hazel eyes, his face flushed ever so slightly, and his brow furrowed. “Since Saturday, it’s all I can think about,” you stare back in disbelief, part of you happy he’s addressing <em>it</em>, but the other part of you so nervous. <em>Did he tell anyone? Has anyone else commented on it?</em><br/><br/>“Hell, even before Saturday… I… um-” he stumbles over his words clumsily, which doesn’t ever happen with him, “I don’t even know how to phrase this, but-”<br/><br/>“Porco-'' you cut him off, and he recoils sharply. You want to hear him out on this, but not here, not now. You’re unprepared, unable to handle the confrontation, the discomfort, the potential rejection. “I… want to discuss this too. And I think we should, but now is not the time.” Your hands are trembling, as is your voice, unusually soft and delicate. “Please, let’s just get through the check-in, I need to do my job right now. We can talk about this later.”<br/><br/>“Later?” he repeats. You just nod your head, and he lets up a bit, “Promise?”<br/><br/>“Yes. Now… back to the main reason you’re here...”<br/><br/>You proceed with all the routine questions. Asking him about how he feels physically, if there have been any changes in his state. He assures you that he’s been healing well, and cooperates wonderfully. After your initial assessment, you ask him to head over to the medical bed, “shirt off - let’s look at the bruising” you state very matter-of-factly. <br/><br/>Noting the shy look on his face as he starts to peel out of his shirt, you cut in “I won’t make this awkward, just gotta inspect quickly so I can update my notes.”<br/><br/>He pulls his shirt off, and places it to the side, his skin glistening ever so slightly with that summer sweat. It was only June, but you could tell that today was going to be a particularly hot day. <br/><br/>The purple discolouration had nearly vanished completely, you pressed your fingertips to the yellow splotches that remained where the deepest bruises had been on his upper chest, “Does this hurt? Any discomfort?” you ask.<em><br/></em><br/>“Not one bit.” He says reassuringly. “Okay then, you can put your shirt back on, but let’s just do a quick weigh-in first.”<br/><br/>He nods and jumps over to the scale, until the small dial settles. <br/><br/>“Okay, 73 kilos…” you say “Why is it that everyone’s lost weight? A little weight loss is normal, but this time every one of you has lost a few kilos, even Yeager.” You mutter frustrated by this realization, moreso meant for yourself than for Porco to overhear. <br/><br/>He just shrugs. “It’s a different world out there. Too focused on not dying.” <br/><br/>His words seem chalky, almost a little too blunt, but you derail the topic. “At any rate, you seem better, so tell Commander Magath you’re cleared for physical training - but, nothing too rigorous for now” your eyes narrow, “exercise is fine, but nothing too intense for at least a few more days, once the bruising is gone. No sparring or anything that might irritate it.”<br/><br/>Porco nods in agreement, a devious smirk spreading across his face, “so, when’s later?”<br/><br/>Flinching at his directness, you immediately remember what you told him not 30 minutes ago. “Tonight? After dinner. Back here.”<br/><br/>He clicks his tongue and nods in satisfaction. <br/><br/>“Alright, thank you,” Porco says politely before walking through the doors. <br/><br/>Once you hear the echo of the door close, you bury your head in your arms on your desk. <em>That wasn’t that bad,</em> you think to yourself. But still, you’re nervous about tonight. You tell yourself it’s nothing, but that doesn’t quell the butterflies. At all. <br/><br/>You file your notes neatly in the necessary folders, then prepare for your next appointments.<br/><br/>A debrief with Magath. Lunch. Then assess the candidates, then another debrief. Paperwork. Dinner. Then Porco.<br/><br/><em>Then, Porco</em>. You repeat to yourself. Half-nervous, half-frustrated.<br/><br/>___<br/><br/><br/>At around 11:30 you go around to the upper wing to find Magath, he was usually either down in the courtyard, or on the second-floor, in his office or on his balcony looking down. Today, he was taking advantage of the warm weather, out on the balcony as the candidates practiced sparring down below.<br/><br/>“Ah, Chief L/N” he acknowledges you standing in his doorway, “care to join me here?” you just walk over and immediately feel the warm breeze hit your face. The kids below all focused on combat practice - and directly across, you see the red armbands of the warriors out on the adjacent balcony -- Zeke taking a smoke break no doubt, while the others congregate around him.<br/><br/>“They seem more and more ready by the day,” you comment longingly. You’ve known these kids since they were as young as 7 or 8, and could already feel a part of yourself mourning the ever-few days of their childhood they had left… if they were ever truly children to begin with. <br/><br/>“Well, if you’ve seen them on the field, you’d already consider a few of them ready.” He nods, like a proud father. Magath was a conflicted mentor to them, hating the devils, but he still cared deeply for the warriors - that much was evident to anyone who knew Magath. <br/><br/>“About that…” you thrust the reports from this morning in his hand, then cross your arms in front of your chest. “I was <em>very</em> <em>surprised</em> to see the younger Grice in my triage unit last weekend for head trauma… which not only should’ve been attended to sooner, but also, what are you doing putting a human 12-year old that close to the fighting to warrant these injuries? Also, they’ve <em>all</em> lost weight. If you want strong candidates, you need to ensure they’re fed properly. They’ve all got potential, it’d be a shame if something as preventable as malnutrition jeopardized any of their chances or impacted their development.”<br/><br/>While you did respect the man to an extent, there were times when you found the lengths he’d go to a little unnecessary. <br/><br/>“I understand the concerns you have. And I appreciate you looking out for them.” he says solemnly. <br/><br/>You raise an eyebrow in response. Annoyed by his lack of accountability, but not surprised. He was only doing what he had to do - but so were you. <br/><br/>“Your concern for the warriors is actually precisely something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. You see, lately, there’s been quite a bit of talk among the warriors and the military as a whole…”<br/><br/>You brace yourself. Not knowing exactly where this is heading. <em>Porco? Something else?</em><br/><br/>“A few days ago we’ve already started planning what will very likely be our last mission with Yeager. And while we do have a handful of medical staff available on missions, this one is high-risk. And would greatly benefit from your care and expertise.”<br/><br/>He had asked you to go on the last mission, and you declined out of fear of being abroad, and in a warzone nonetheless.<br/><br/>“Sir. You know I care deeply for Marley, and for our warriors,” you say, clutching your coat sleeves, arms still folded, “but, with all-due respect, you know I’m wary about travelling.”<br/><br/>“Your cautious nature isn’t a bad thing, in fact, it would be quite necessary here. You see, what I am about to tell you is confidential, so I need your word to keep this between us.” You nod understandingly. “Of course, sir. You know I’m not one to breach confidentiality. It would be unprofessional.” <br/><br/><em>“We will be declaring war to retake the founder for Marley. We are going to Paradis Island en masse and I would like you to be our Chief Medical on this mission.”</em><br/><br/>His words shock you to the core. They had barely returned from the first attempt of that mission when you began your career. You were only assisting then, and it had been four years, with plenty of battles in between, but the mission to Paradis was considered a failure so shameful people didn’t dare speak of it. Given your role, occasionally Reiner, Pieck, or Zeke would discuss events that happened to them there, but you never pried them for more information than what they were willing to give, and just let them talk about it whenever they felt safe and ready. <br/><br/>“When?” you ask, your voice a little shaky than you would’ve liked it to be, especially around Magath. You shift your gaze down to the younger candidates - still fighting, and then to the older warriors - but then shift back to Magath in horror once you realize the four of them were staring directly at you. <br/><br/>“Soon.” Magath says. “A few days at most. You don’t need to give me an answer today, but an answer would be appreciated sooner rather than later. Do keep in mind, you need to be prepared for loss, f/n.” He says, <em>almost</em> sympathetically. At least as sympathetic as a man like Magath allows himself to appear. <br/><br/>He turns away from you, and out to the courtyard and adjacent balconies. And you look out as well, the shouts of the candidates yelling as their instructor bellows out drills fills the entire courtyard. Across the courtyard to the balcony, most of the warriors had returned indoors. Only Colt and Reiner remained outside, but they were looking down, no doubt observing Falco and Gabi.<br/><br/>“To care for them is one thing. But sooner or later, they’ll be gone long before you or I. If war doesn’t take them, the titans will.” You gulp, too afraid to say anything. Zeke’s passing was imminent, just months remaining, then Pieck and Reiner weren’t far behind. “You can’t let yourself get attached. There’s a chance the mission to Paradis will take too long, we may run out of time for Yeager, and need Colt to inherit the titan overseas. There’s another possibility any of the other shifters may become injured, captured, or eaten by their titan. You need to prepare yourself for any situation. Even Galliard has 9 years left, but that means nothing in the face of those devils. His time could run out as soon as we get there. Is <em>that</em> something you think you can prepare yourself for?”<br/><br/>You wondered if there was a reason he called out Porco as a specific example. Magath had the perception of a hawk, but it could've been simply because he’s the one everyone is least concerned about losing, for now. <br/><br/>You turn back to him, “If it’s a possibility, I have no choice but to be prepared. Nothing is a guarantee, for anyone here.”<br/><br/>Sighing, you continue, “Thank you for thinking to bring me, I would appreciate it if I could just think this over. After all, there’s a chance I may not return either. Now, if that’s all, sir…” you trail off. <br/><br/>“Of course, I’ll expect an answer within a few days though, having you on standby would put everyone at more ease. Thank you for your work, you’re dismissed.”<br/><br/>You give him a curt salute, and walk through his office and down the stairs, returning to your quaint wing to eat lunch with Linda. As much as you wanted to be alone to process this, Linda was expecting lunch with you, and you would probably benefit from the distraction of idle chatter.<br/><br/>The thought of going to Paradis <em>terrified</em> you, but that fear paled in comparison to the prospect of you losing a warrior, especially losing Porco, all because you had selfishly stayed in Marley.<br/><br/><br/>~~~<br/><br/>//start flashback<br/><br/>~~~<br/><br/>It had been late in the year 850 when Mrs. Galliard was placed under your care. One of the staff above you had left for a Marleyan hospital, better pay, and more respect. <em>Just a few more months</em>, you think to yourself, <em>and maybe you’ll be able to make it to a prestigious hospital. It would bring your parents a little more pride when they talk about what you do and where you work</em>.<br/><br/>That <em>was</em> the goal, anyways.<br/><br/>You knock on the door while doing rounds, and remark the red plating around the name sign. This meant that an honorary Marleyan was being taken care of here. They were to be seen as priority patients. They got the best treatment of all the patients, after all, it’s what their families had made sacrifices for. Their loved ones were the bravest and most skilled Eldians, being trained from childhood for war, to afford Marleyans the privilege of never needing to experience it.<br/><br/>“Come in,” you’re surprised when it’s a male voice, these rooms were meant to be private. It’s not until you see the brunette woman sleeping, next to her sat a young man, hunched over in a chair, with slicked back blonde hair, and an undercut. A red armband over a dark green bomber jacket. <br/><br/>“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know Mrs. Galliard was having guests.” you admit sheepishly. “I’m just here to do a quick vitals check, replace the IV, and deliver fresh food and linens.”<br/><br/>At this, the man kicks back in his chair, it makes a subtle squeak against the waxed floor. He doesn’t break eye-contact though, both his glare and tone are unwaveringly confrontational. “You’re not Anna.” He says, dryly stating the obvious. His eyes listless, annoyed, and distant. It's evident he'd rather not engage with you.<br/><br/>“I’m replacing Anna.” You inform him, thoroughly unimpressed with his bravado. <br/><br/>“Let me guess, she left this hospital, too?” He scoffs, smugly rolling his eyes and clicking his tongue. He stands up from the bedside and walks over to come face-to-face with you, leaning up against the doorframe, arms crossed. You reach out to shake his hand, but he doesn’t take it. <br/><br/>“I’m her son. Porco Galliard, Jaw Titan” he sneers, an arrogant and condescending tone to his voice and face. He lightly nudges his armband with his fist, defiantly glancing at you, then back over to his frail mother. His hazel eyes full of disdain, and his upturned nose scrunched up. “I’d ask your name, but it won’t matter in 2 weeks' time, so what’s the point?” He glances at your arm and nods obnoxiously, “I can tell you’re a Marleyan, and every Marleyan they let into this hospital just leaves as soon as they’re able. All I want is for her to get consistent treatment, and they just send in whatever inexperienced transient.”<br/><br/>You recoil at this, clearly he’s not wrong, but you’re not going to take this. You just want to do your damn job. <br/><br/>“I may be new, but I’m not <em>some transient</em>.” You stand firm. People have warned you about his behaviour, and they weren’t wrong, but you’re not one to take attitude when you know you’re doing your best. “And, when I’m still here in two weeks, not only will you be learning my name, but you’ll be giving me an apology. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Mr. Porco-Galliard-Jaw-Titan, I’m going to tend to your mother.”<br/><br/>You push past him, and begin to swap out the IV, you hear Porco huff as he leaves the room, and you’re just thankful <em>that</em> interaction is over.<br/><br/>Looking down, you can’t help but notice the fragility of his mother. Her frame thin and her breathing ragged. Being winter, you gently place another blanket on top of her, it can’t be easy for her to remain warm in this type of weather. Next to the bed, there’s a small photo on the bedside table, you pick it up and notice it’s an old family photo. <br/><br/>A man in the upper corner, blond and narrow-faced, hazel eyes, standing next to Mrs. Galliard, a wide smile across her face as she spread her arms across the two boys, both of whom seemed to have taken on her round face and upturned nose. You recognize the blonde one as being Porco, and then the auburn haired boy you realize must have been Marcel Galliard. You had heard stories about how his titan was stolen from and retaken by Marley. Now, it must lie with his brother.<br/><br/>You place the photo back and continue with your work. Exiting the room as you catch Porco on the outside, chewing a nurse’s ear off about how it’s '<em>still not fair</em>.' <br/><br/>Taking your trolley, you walk past the two of them and motion to Porco, “Sir, the room is done. Please buzz me if needed.”<br/><br/>Gruffly, he trudges back and you exchange a puzzled look with the nurse.<br/><br/>“He’s always like that,” she says, “don’t mind him, he’s here often, but just feel free to skip Mrs. Galliard’s room if you can while he’s here. Figures the jaw titan has a sharp mouth to match” she laughs, with a bit of a taunting eye roll.<br/><br/>You only take this as a challenge, hands firmly gripping the handle of your trolly, staring intently at the closed-over door with the red frame around the name tag.<br/><br/>___<br/><br/><br/>Over the next few weeks, you pass his mother’s hospital room often. You learn that Porco comes to visit over his lunches, and after training nearly everyday. He’s still wary of you, but one day, as your portioning out food and pills for Mrs. Galliard, she touches your hand delicately. From the old picture, you could tell that she used to be a plump woman, but the pneumonia and fevers had been hard on her physically. She was frail and he eyes glazed over with delirium. <br/><br/>“Porco is a good boy,” she says affirmingly.<br/>“He may be hard on the workers here, but he’s only protective. In a few years, he lost both his brother and father. We didn’t even find out Marcel had been killed so early until a few months ago when the girl who ate him surrendered herself…”<br/><br/>You turn to face her, her hazel eyes sad and glazed over. She's numb as she says these words, but you could hear each word catch slightly in her throat. There’s no doubt these losses must've been tragic. Especially with the way Marleyan propaganda turned Marcel into an example - making the cruelty of the Devils of Paradis known to all through his story. Media was constantly mentioning how he was the most capable of the 4 warriors who had gone to Paradis, and yet was no match for the devils, losing everything mere days into the mission all the way back in 845. This no doubt must have been a bitter reminder to the family. <br/><br/>You hold her hands in yours, “I cannot imagine the pain your family has gone through,” your words surprise even you. You’ve only been a few months into working with Eldians. Prior to becoming a volunteer, then being promoted to a regular staff at the Liberio General Hospital, you had never set foot near the internment zone. You had never interacted with an Eldian so closely, and yet, they looked no different than most of the people you had known prior. If not for the armbands, there would be no sure-tell to distinguish Eldians from Marleyans.<br/><br/>“I remember hearing of Marcel in the newspapers…” you start, “He was only 14, and yet he was apparently our best hope there. You’re a great mother for having been able to raise two boys strong enough to become Warriors.”<br/><br/>Honestly, you’re unsure if what you’re saying is even the correct thing to be saying. She’s just so little beneath the blankets, and seemed to be so apologetic for her son’s behaviour. Usually he was brazen and confrontational, but that day, you wouldn’t have known he was in the room, had a stiff voice not interjected, “You’re right about that, she is a great mother.”<br/><br/>Surprised, you see Porco standing against the wall, still in his jacket and a sandwich in his hand. “I’m sorry,” you say, getting up to excuse yourself, “I didn’t mean to cut into you’re visiting time--I’ll be back later to collect the lunchtime dishes--enjoy your visit” you nod your head slightly to each of them as you go back out in the hall to collect your trolley and finish delivering lunches, before you can have a lunch break yourself. <br/><br/>_____<br/><br/>Porco’s POV:<br/><br/>Porco goes over to the small weathered armchair next to his mother’s bed, and begins unwrapping all of her food before his own sandwich. <br/><br/>“Porco dear,” his mother starts, her eyes weak and crinkled. “Be nicer to that lady, I have a feeling she’s different.”<br/><br/>He just groans in response. “Don’t tell me you’re getting attached to another nurse here? They’re just doing their jobs.”<br/><br/>“Yes, but she does a very good job; she’s a gentle person” his mother claims, as Porco helps her to sit up a little more so she can eat. “I guess she <em>is</em> an improvement from the previous two,” he says as he rubs the corner of the blanket between his thumb and index finger, noting how his mother always gets her meals at the same time and is never without adequate clean linens. The small details did make a difference. <br/><br/>“Oh- Porco, I believe I’m out of water, would you mind?” He grabs the cup and gets out in the hallway, navigating the twists of the stark-white, sterile hallways he’s unfortunately come to memorize over the past months. When he finally turns the corner where the water fountain is, he sees you and you jump back, staring at him in fear as though he’d come to scold you for messing something up.<br/><br/>“-Sorry” he says holding the cup up in clear sight, “I was just coming for water, but…” he trails, looking right at you. He notices how <em>soft</em> your features look. There’s a delicacy beneath your serious work demeanour that makes you quite pretty to him, but he shakes out of this thought. <br/><br/>“Look, I think we had a bad start when we met,” he sighs, and he holds out his hand, “I’d like to apologize,” he watches as you slowly reach out your hand to shake his. There’s a nervous swallow in his throat as you glimpse his adam’s apple bob up and down. <em>Embarrassment? Nervousness? Guilt? You couldn’t tell.</em> “f/n, l/n” he hears you say very steadily, “and thank you, I appreciate the apology,” you nod, stern but sincere. <br/><br/>Porco takes a sharp inhale. It’s hard for him to swallow his pride and be the bigger person, but he really wanted to believe you were different. After all, you already seemed more diligent than any of the previous nurses, more attentive. One of the few people who helped his mother feel truly “<em>seen</em>” in such a busy hospital.<br/><br/>“Just promise one thing-” the words slip out from between his lips in almost one single breath. “Please don’t transfer too soon, my mom, she really likes you.” You just nod in response, “it’s my job” you says, and you seemed awfully shy for someone so competent, but perhaps that was just by virtue of being new to the department.<br/><br/>He twists the tap to refill the water, the cup almost to the brim, he turns around and acknowledges you with a nod as you place more sandwiches on the cart. <br/><br/>Then, he saw the gaggle of nurses and a tall, stringy doctor gawking over. “What?” is all Porco can say, glaring at them. People always stared and whispered - but so far, he didn’t get that kind of treatment from you. Maybe his mom was right, something about you seemed different. <br/><br/>______<br/><br/>You looked back as Porco shifted through the crowd of the few other nurses, the secretary, and Dr. Brandt, all staring bewildered at you. You hear one of the nurses whisper, just loud enough to be in earshot, “Who does she think she is? Less than a week and already getting through to bitter-boy. Can’t wait ‘til her time’s up”<br/><br/>You twitched your face over to them, arching an eyebrow to indicate you heard her. She didn’t care though; her response a mere eye-roll as she laughed with the nurses alongside her. <br/><br/><em>And that - that’s when you knew you weren’t going to transfer out of Liberio.</em><em><br/></em><br/>Your stubbornness was always your greatest vice. But, you were going to show up every catty nurse in this damn hospital, and you were going to ensure Porco Galliard would regret his judgement of you - whether it took weeks, months, or even years. You wanted to ensure they grew to learn how severely they underestimated you. <em><br/></em><em><br/></em><em>~~~</em><em><br/></em><em><br/></em><em>/end flashback<br/><br/></em><em>~~~</em><em><br/></em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Confessions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That evening, you had returned to your office after a quick dinner, surprised to see Linda still meandering about. Sanitizing tools, sorting the filing cabinet, the usual busy-work that gets left until the day's end. “You’re dismissed,” you tell her, “I just have some paperwork to get through, don’t worry about me I’ll still be a while, the Commander always seems to have so many ideas when he returns from missions,” you say wearily. It was true. Especially this time; he's given you a lot to think about.<br/><br/>Linda just nods, flashing a wide-grinned smile, “Have a good night! See ya tomorrow!” she calls out with a curt salute. Her skirts billow behind her as she bobs down the hallway. The <em>click-clacks</em> of her shoes echoing as the sunset glow cascades through the windows across the rich wooden floors.<br/><br/>You return into your office, closing over the door slightly. Not a person is in sight, but you just feel better with the extra privacy. Especially since you still had actual work to do. The heavy oak door creaks as it inches shut, but your office feels stuffy, so you open up the windows, and let the last of the sunlight creep in as the warm summer air lingers even late into the evening.<br/><br/>Even though it's still light out, it's fading quickly, you light a candle in anticipation of the soon-to-be-night time. The clock on the wall ticks away, and you lose yourself in your work, writing detailed notes about your observations of the young candidates - recommendations, risks, and even start to work on the plans for determining Pieck’s successor, and even looking at the records of junior candidates, or those who have not yet qualified as candidates, but are under consideration. All to keep the roster fresh and moving. Especially with the upcoming mission to Paradis, it might be best to line up more prospective candidates in anticipation, as the processes and testing is quite rigorous.<br/><br/>You’re just gliding the ink of your fountain pen across the final line of paper, when a curt knock at the door echoes loudly through the room, jolting you upright. You’d nearly forgotten about how you’d told Porco he could drop by to discuss what had happened… now it’s all you can think about. Your hands shake slightly as you run them through your hair, hoping you don't look too tired or stressed from the day's work.<br/><br/>“Come in!” you call out. Your voice is a little nervous, but you don't think he notices.<br/><br/>Porco enters, “door closed?” he asks plainly, and you nod. In the dim lights, there’s a freshness to him, even though he had just spent an afternoon in training, he looks to have come almost directly from the showers. His blonde hair neatly combed back as usual, freshly shaven, and a tight white t-shirt spread over his chest, tucked into khaki pants with a black leather belt and matching military boots. Even in his casual attire, there was no mistaking it, he was a soldier, even off-duty he still seemed prepared to fight given the command.<br/><br/>He settles into the chair, shifting about to get comfortable and adjusting his shirt and armband with a bit of a twinge. You can’t tell if it’s the warm evening weather or from the underlying embarrassment about the incident you’re undoubtedly about to discuss, but there’s a flush to his face. His honeyed eyes wide and a little nervous.  <br/><br/>You pick up on this and decide that talking about something like this across a large desk might not be the most comfortable… <em>for either of you</em>. It’d feel too much like you’re probing him in a screening rather than a conversation between two adults.<br/><br/>“It’s really warm today,” you comment casually, “would you like some water? I’m going to get some for myself.”<br/><br/>“Yeah, that’d be great actually,” he says, raising his arm and running his fingers through his hair. He always unintentionally flexes his tricep when he does this, and usually it’s difficult enough to pretend not to notice, but the candlelight just accentuates his muscular contours.<br/><br/>You walk out to the reception area, and grab two ceramic glasses and some lemon wedges, filling the cups up and dropping the lemons in with a satisfying plop. You can’t remember if he likes lemon or not, but you don’t usually host people in your office for chit-chat, so you need to make the best of what little you do have to offer.<br/><br/>Walking back into the office, you hear the door <em>click</em> as you firmly close it behind you, and you head over to the couch at the back corner of the room, “Let’s sit here,” you say, placing the cups delicately on the table, and smoothing out your dress as you take a seat in the corner, leaning up against the backrest with a pillow tucked under your arm.<br/><br/>He looks up at you, again, unusually quiet, and when you gently pat the open seat next to you, he comes over and joins you, taking a sip of water as soon as he sits down.<br/><br/>For a few seconds, it’s just you two and the space between you, the gentle breeze echoing through the dark office space, the thin curtains dance and sway slightly with every slight gust, and outside there’s a symphony of crickets filling the silence.<br/><br/>Unintentionally, you let out a sigh as you fall into the old quilted sofa, adjusting yourself and fixing the skirt beneath you.<br/><br/>“Long day?” He asks, breaking the silence, sounding genuinely interested while nervously toying with the cup in his hands.<br/><br/>“Thursdays are always busy,” you say, “More so than usual now that HQ is full, but I’d prefer my days like this rather than full of silence.”<br/><br/>He nods, not fully understanding, but nonetheless making an effort to relate.<br/><br/>“We’re really lucky to have someone like you here,” He admits, rolling his head to the side. “You’re good at what you do, <em>really good</em>.” The complements easily roll off his tongue like honey. You want to savor it all, yet you bide your time, simply thanking him.<br/><br/>“I wanted to ask something earlier,” he eventually says, placing the ceramic cup down and turning to face you slightly, a soft intensity to his face. Alternating between gazing out the window and looking at you, <em>through you</em>.<br/><br/>All you do is nod understandingly, still unsure and afraid of where this conversation may lead, but letting Porco take the reins. As much as you felt you needed to talk about this, you were more than relieved he was the one to take initiative.<br/><br/>His round nose crinkles, as he asks “I know that I can be a lot at times, and sometimes I say things I don’t mean, or maybe act too impulsively, but- was there ever a time, I, uh… made you feel uncomfortable? Around me?” a tone of concern here.<br/><br/>“No-” you start, a little too quickly. “Never” you reaffirm honestly, as you stabilize your voice.<br/><br/>Porco lets out a smooth exhale, “not even on Saturday?”<br/><br/>You just shake your head. Honestly. He didn’t make you uncomfortable in any way. Ever. As close as you’ve been in some situations, you always found comfort in his presence.<br/><br/><em>“Have I ever made you uncomfortable? </em> ” you flip his question back on to him. <em> This</em>. <em> This was your main fear</em>. As much as you tried to maintain professionalism, to be a good medical advisor, there was a part of you that was attracted to the man. Deeply attracted. You knew there were times when you stared too long, were maybe a bit too protective of him when giving recommendations to Magath, watched him too specifically and too attentively when surveying training sessions. That was pushing it for sure, but having known him for so long, and more personally than the other warriors, there was a part of you that felt protective - that felt attached - to this rough surly man who few truly knew, and who few would likely ever try understand with the same care and to the same capacity as you did.<br/><br/>At this, he lets out a short but guttural laugh. “No,” he shakes his head with a smile, finally loosening up from his militaristic composure and slouching back a little bit. “Never.” He repeats your same words back to you, as a crooked smirk spreads across his lips.<br/><br/>You relax in return, mirroring his body language, hoping this was a good sign, but there was still a nervous edge in his eyes.<br/><br/>“So,” he readjusts himself against the couch, this time, positioning his leg so it’s a little closer to yours. It was a small couch as is, but at this proximity his leg was barely grazing at your bare calf. You took a breath, nervously anticipating his next words, “I hope this doesn’t mark the first time I make you uncomfortable, but-” he props his elbow against the backrest of the couch, his hand under his chin as he looks right at you. “Do you have feelings for me?”<br/><br/>You bite the insides of your cheeks. Usually you’re not this nervous around men, but you feel like a mouse who’s been caught in the dead of the night, he studies your face attentively gaging how his next words will be received… <em>“because I have feelings for you,”</em> he bows his head slightly. <em>“I know, I know I told you to be careful. I know these feelings go against everything my upbringing and the laws have taught me, but… they exist, and they’re real.”</em><br/><br/>You swallow the nervous lump in your throat. Somehow, Porco had said exactly what you wanted him to, while also resurfacing everything you feared about the reality of these emotions between an Eldian like him and a Marleyan like you.<br/><br/>“I do…” you say quietly, “the feelings I have are real for you too, no matter how much I try to pretend they aren’t - they are, and they’re so hard for me to keep denying.”<br/><br/>“Hey, shh…” he says, carefully sliding his hand over yours. “I’d never force you to act on them.”<br/><br/>“I know…” there’s a slight crack of fear as your voice falls low, but as though instinctively, you weave your fingers between his, “but this is so wrong, and I am so scared.”<br/><br/><em>His hand squeeze yours reassuringly, “I know.”</em><br/><br/>“But, I want you.” You finally raise your eyes to meet his gaze. His eyes always bore a warm golden halo, but there was a softness to his tone, and to his face.<br/><br/>“That’s a relief, because I’ve wanted you,” he breathes softly, “for so long.”<br/><br/>For a few minutes, you’re stranded within the gaze of the other, bound by heavy hands and liberating confessions.<br/><br/>You revel in the feeling, relishing the way your hairs prick up ever so slightly as his fingers nimbly play with yours, the candle running low on wax as the flames begin to flicker rapidly, casting vivid lighting against the rich wood that panels your office walls.<br/><br/>“Where do we go from here?” you ask, eyes widening up at him, hoping he has an answer, <em>because you sure as hell don’t.</em> Confessing was only just the beginning, while you feel safe with Porco, you <em>only</em> feel safe with Porco. Anyone else knowing would put both your lives, and your families' lives, at risk.<br/><br/>For a while, Porco just stares over to the waning candle, biting his lower lip in thought, until he clasps his hand over yours, tightly.<br/><br/>“We’ll go wherever you want to.” He admits with an intense edge to his voice. “I’ve been in the face of death so many times, I’ve lost so many family members over the years, and have been powerless to change anything. Marley wouldn’t take me out of their military, not anytime soon, and they have more pressing issues than their soldiers’ personal lives. As long as we don’t make it obvious, as long as we keep the Commander in the dark... I only have 9 years left…” you flinch slightly at the comment, but this only makes him inch closer to fill the gap between you. “I only have 9 year left,” he repeats, “and I'm not going to spend them depriving myself of happiness.”<br/><br/>This realization hurts. You think of your future with decades in mind; it's a fantasy he can't ever indulge himself in. But it's the reality of him, and this wasn't new information to you- but hearing him acknowledge it so bluntly, with so much awareness, really did cause an uncomfortable churn in your stomach. <br/><br/>You lean into him instinctively, once again, getting a hint of the vanilla and musk that lightly fragrances his neck, he presses his forehead to yours, and brushes his freehand up the side of your face, and just as you close your eyes to lean into him, the flame of the candle falters, and it’s just the two of you, face to face, hands woven together and your bare knees brushed up against his. But the moonlight soon took over the candlelight, and as soon as you closed your eyes, his plump lips met with yours. His lips are plush and pillowy, softly encasing yours, and leaving the subtlest nibble on your lower lip. After that brief, cautious kiss, he pulls you in closer, gently cupping the side of your face.<br/><br/><em>He's so warm.</em><br/><br/><em>So gentle.</em><br/><br/><em>You didn't expect to kiss him tonight, but in that moment, everything felt right in the world. </em><br/><br/><em>The way his hands delicately cradle your face, his direct and self-assured in this, but so comforting.<br/></em><br/><em>Already, you know you want more of this, more of him.</em><br/><br/>Greedily, you return to him, freeing your hand from his, you wrap your arms around him, grasping at his back with one hand, and brushing the other along the bristles of his undercut. You gently slip your tongue into his mouth, and what was only a heartfelt confession not five minutes ago has become a lustful make out session.</p><p>Your hands on him like they’ve never been before, all the while Porco has you comfortably pulled onto his lap. It’s hot, it’s sensual, and you’re thoroughly enjoying the taste of him. He’s good. Really good. A better kisser than you’d expected - only fitting of the Jaw Titan to have a skillful mouth to match.<br/><br/>Reluctantly, you pull back. He seems a little shocked at first, but then looks at you, bewildered. <em>“You’re crazy beautiful. You know that, right?”<br/></em><br/><em>You look at him softly. He has no idea how many times you've suppressed your feelings for him. Believing that you were crazy, that you were misreading him. You've wanted this for so long, but just never allowed yourself to admit it.</em><br/><br/>Still slightly out of breath, you respond “I want more of this time together, but how? How difficult will it be to get away with this?”<br/><br/>“On assignment, it’ll be easier.” He says, “Here, there’s a lot of people. Your office is likely the only true place we can get away with this…” he trails off.<br/><br/>“But you can leave the internment zone?” you ask.<br/><br/>“Of course,” he says nodding to his armband, “but I still can’t be seen in public with a Marleyan in an intimate setting. People notice. They gossip. Someone somewhere will hear about it, and it'll be over.”<br/><br/>You nod understandingly, thinking of all the times you’ve heard people throughout the main city speak ill of the Eldians.<br/><br/>“If you went into the main city, alone, for an evening, would anyone here notice?”<br/><br/>“Reiner might. But he might assume I’m just visiting or out. He wouldn’t care so long as it wasn’t too late.”<br/><br/>“Well, if I give you my address, could you visit me? I live alone, close to the internment zone. We don’t have to worry about interruptions.”<br/><br/>His eyes light up at the thought of this, and he runs his hand through your hair.<br/><br/>“Give me the time and place,” he says, and you nod enthusiastically. Walking over to your desk and scrawling your address and apartment number on a loose sheet of paper.<br/><br/>“Here,” you slip the page into his fingers, “just, only come if you don’t think you’ll be noticed, anytime after 6 is fine - even later, as long as you avoid suspicion. That’s what’s most important… <em>for both of us.</em>”<br/><br/><em> Your vulnerability is on full display, both shameless and shameful in the same breath. You knew this was wrong, and yet, you couldn’t bear to feel like you’re withholding yourself, and to know he wants this too, it just feels so right. So satisfying to have. </em><br/><br/>He lingers a bit until you usher him to go “It’s late, not many people are in this area at this time…” you caution, bringing a finger up to his face to caress his jawline flirtatiously, “we should leave separately, if anyone asks, you were only taking a walk, maybe looking for bandages-whatever it is, make it believable.”<br/><br/>“Alright, alright…” he muses shaking his head, “because doing <em> this </em> would be unprofessional, right?” he lurches you into him, your chest pressed against his, he's gripping the sides of your shoulders firmly. The sudden aggression knocks the wind out of you, and then, in contrast to his sudden roughness, he plants <em>the</em> <em>softest, sweetest kiss</em> you’ve ever felt atop your forehead.<br/><br/><em>“I’ll see you tomorrow.”</em><br/><br/>Then before you know it, the echo of his footsteps fade down the hallway, and it’s just you, slumped against the wall, trying to decompress all the emotions from the evening’s events.<br/><br/>Thoughtfully, you take your time gathering your items, before locking the door behind you and heading home. You still had to get to bed and prepare some things for tomorrow, but, you were grateful for tonight, and for the first time in a long time, you walked back to your little apartment in the dark, with a pure smile over your face. Truly, it felt so nice to have someone to look forward to, for the first time in so long.<br/><br/>_____<br/><br/>Porco POV.<br/><br/>The medical wing was eerie at night, too empty, his footsteps caused an echo and he was curious if anyone else had been up. Currently with upcoming mission preparations and assessments, all the warriors, candidates, a select few of the cohort being judged were staying in the dormitory, so that wing was bound to have people still up, after all, it was barely 10pm.<br/><br/>He stops by an old photo frame of various Marleyan generals and catches a glimpse of himself in the reflection. Picking up on the state of his hair and shirt, hastily trying to smooth it out so it wasn’t clear what he’d been doing. Not that he’d never messed around with girls before, or came back from the odd late-night encounter. Reiner never said anything, but Commander Magath never approved of this sort of behaviour, especially when the role was a little more demanding. Zeke was the only one to seem to get away with promiscuity in the Warrior Unit. Something about that kiss-ass always made him above consequences.<br/><br/>After turning the corners, Porco slips into his dorm room. Reiner barely glances up from his book when he hears Porco return, only haplessly raising an eyebrow, annoyed with Porco for disturbing him by virtue of his presence, evidently.<br/><br/>All the while, Porco, grabbed a change of clothes and began to undress in his corner, trembling ever so slightly not because Reiner's annoyance made him worried of suspicion, but rather because he was overcome with joy in anticipation of tomorrow. In a loose t-shirt and boxer shorts, Porco falls backwards onto his bed, already eager to see you once again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, looks like we might be getting somewhere after all! As much as I want to drag this out, it seems all too characteristic of Porco to be one to really want to move things forward...</p><p>If anyone will test fate, it'll be him - within reason of course ;)</p><p>As always, feedback is much appreciated! I'm starting to experiment with other fics, but this one has been really fun for me to write! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Histories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Though you got back quite late, you are still able to wake up on time and get ready for the day ahead. A simple Friday, starting with a meeting with the Titan Biology Research Society, presenting some findings on health reports, and no doubt they would be sharing some lab results from Zeke and Colt. Zeke’s skills have proven incredibly useful for Marley, but there’s growing concern with the volatility of the beast titan. While Colt is certainly prepared, there’s no telling how much variation there will be between their titan abilities.<br/>
<br/>
You always looked forward to meetings with them, they were a lively group, and you always had interesting takeaways from those meetings.<br/>
<br/>
After the meeting, you typically had a debrief with Magath, just overviewing any points of interest, things to consider conducting tests for. Then, the afternoon was spent monitoring the younger cohort of candidate-hopefuls. Some were as young as 5… and your mind couldn’t help but wander… there was no doubt that, even though Porco had 9 years left, his successor could likely be among these kids should none of the current candidates be fit in 9 years’ time. You shudder at the thought, but it’s true. While currently, there are plenty of candidates, a shifter typically <em> grows </em> into their titan if they acquire it at a younger age. It makes the learning curve easier, no doubt.<br/>
<br/>
You’re jotting down notes for each of the kids - how fast they run, where their stamina levels seem to be, who are showing early signs of being prodigious, and who might already be lagging behind in physicality and will, and may not be able to continue to future assessment rounds after current evaluations.<br/>
<br/>
At this stage, you don’t bother with names, you’re taught to look at them by their numbers, not to get attached, to look at their potential as objectively as possible… Like how Marley desensitizes their soldiers, they also try to desensitize you to everything you do and everyone you see.<br/>
<br/>
“L/N-” Commander Magath calls over sternly, “a word.”<br/>
<br/>
With a slight nod, you get up on your bench, tucking your clipboard firmly under your arm, and offering a quick salute.<br/>
<br/>
“Commander Magath,” you say with a curt salute.<br/>
<br/>
“Plans seem to be progressing quickly. There have been developments. Have you made a decision?”<br/>
<br/>
<em> It had only been a day. This man wouldn’t know the meaning of the word patience. In truth, you were still nervous, you hadn’t yet told your family, but you know they would have reservations. Afterall, Paradis was an island of devils. But then, you thought of the times Warriors had gone on missions where you’ve spent months on end concerned - how injured even Falco was when he’d returned the last time, you thought of Pieck who heals so slowly, or Porco… being without him after your own “developments” in your budding relationship would be torture… </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> “I’ll go.” You say stoically, looking deadset into Magath’s sunken eyes.<br/>
<br/>
His tense face loosens ever so slightly. “Your presence is much needed. Doctor Brandt will be joining as well, but he doesn’t work with them,” he nods his chin over to the young warrior hopefuls doing laps around the field, “this is where we need your expertise more than ever.”<br/>
<br/>
Doctor Brandt, you recoil a bit at the mention, of all the possible doctors, him being there would complicate things...<br/>
<br/>
“Doctor Brandt…” you repeat the name in a hushed whisper.<br/>
<br/>
Of course, Magath picks up on this. “Yes, he’s young and competent. We need everyone we can afford to bring.” He trails off slightly, just as you’re about to say something he says, “We depart soon, likely a few months. Ensure you’re prepared and make any necessary arrangements. I’ll update you on details in a week’s time. For now, you’re dismissed.’<br/>
<br/>
The way he just drops a bomb on you then walks away irritates you to no end.<br/>
<br/>
You walk back to your office, to compile your notes, but mainly to decompress. You’re breathing heavily at this point and doing all you can to prevent the onslaught of panic that’s rippling in waves throughout your body. This was not the news you needed, not today anyways.<br/>
<br/>
Head down, you nearly bump into Colt, Pieck, and Porco in the hall as they’re congregating together by the main stairwell.<br/>
<br/>
“F/N!” Pieck calls out cheerfully! Giving a gentle wave as she leans against the bannister for support. You wave back, not making time to stop. Pieck would usually chat, but today you didn’t want to face them, especially not Porco. Not like this.<br/>
<br/>
They stare after you, especially Porco, eyeing you carefully as you briskly walk down the hallway. </p><p><br/>
Barely audible, you hear Colt say something along the lines of how <em> that woman is always busy </em> .<br/>
___<br/>
<br/>
Back in the medicaly wing, Linda was sitting at her desk. She also picks up on your unusually quick pace, your short breaths and the way you tensely clutch your pen and clipboard to your chest.<br/>
<br/>
“...ev-er-y-thing okay?” Linda glances up, perplexed as she stresses each syllable deliberately. “Wanna chat real quick?” You glance over sympathetically, as you open your office door. She follows in and you go to sit on the couch in the back… flinching a bit once you remember you forgot to put away the ceramic cups from last night. Linda’s going to notice that. But oh well. You’re free to have other guests.<br/>
<br/>
You slump back and look out the window.<br/>
<br/>
“What the hell happened? You were fine earlier.”<br/>
<br/>
Truthfully, Linda is probably the closest you have to a friend at your work, except maybe Pieck and the cheerful relationship you keep with the warriors, but that was a different dynamic altogether. You see each other everyday, and have gotten to build up a close rapport with her ever since she joined a few months ago.<br/>
<br/>
Her brown eyes flicker over to the cups, but she says nothing. “Seriously… what happened?”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m leaving Marley, for I-don’t-even-know-how long, and…” you heave a heavy sigh, “that creep Brandt is coming along.” you shake your head in disbelief. It felt good to call Brandt out for how you saw him, but you quickly looked Linda up and down to gage a reaction - you weren’t sure if you should’ve confided to her that you felt that way about him. Truthfully, it slipped out.<br/>
<br/>
“Wait- you’re leaving? <em> With </em> the warriors this time?” Linda says, pushing her cropped blonde hair back, you just nod solemnly. “I’ll be tending to them while abroad, and Brandt is going for general medical support, for the Marleyan soldiers.”<br/>
<br/>
“I see…” she says.<br/>
<br/>
Even though you’re fairly close to her, you’ve tried to keep what you disclose about your past professional and underwraps.<br/>
<br/>
When you first started volunteering at the Liberio General Hospital, Dr. Brandt had also recently started practicing as a physician. While he’s only a few years older than you, he wasted no time making his interest known. From the awkward grabbing of your shoulder, to the uncomfortable compliments, and less-than-subtle brushing of your hands, he had done more than just creep you out.<br/>
<br/>
Other staff always commented how the two of you would make a beautiful couple, how he was really interested in you, but you just couldn’t brush off how he brushed against you. He was always too close for comfort.<br/>
<br/>
“Maybe this will be good for both of you?” Linda says, and you gawk at her like she just suggested something heinous. “You’ll have plenty of time to make yourself clear - if he doesn’t get the hint while on a mission together, will he ever? Maybe some confrontation will do the both of you some good.”<br/>
<br/>
“You know I don’t like him though… there’s just something <em> off </em> about that man.” You crinkle your nose in disgust. Fed up with how other staff says you’d be cute together, how they attempt to sell you on the possibility of dating him one day. <em> ‘He’s so into you’ ‘He’s tall, smart, and handsome,’ ‘Dating someone in your field would help, you’ll have someone else who understands your work.’ </em><br/>
<br/>
Those were all common arguments you were up against, but you didn’t want to have to deal with that - especially not when you had only just confessed to Porco.<br/>
<br/>
“At the very least, if Dr. Brandt is leading general med, and you’re in charge of the warriors, those are completely different - are they not?”<br/>
<br/>
You nod. Finally, Linda says something helpful. You’ve shirked away from Brandt, told him directly to stop, and even turned down many requests for lunch with him, and he still <em> somehow </em> finds a way to get involved.<br/>
<br/>
When you were offered to join the warrior medical team, even at first on a casual basis, you were elated. It was a promotion, but also an excuse not to work with that man as often. Once he found out, he was clearly unhappy about it - even telling you if you wanted a '<em>true promotion' </em>as he phrased it, perhaps the two of you could transfer to a bigger hospital together. But clearly, transferring out of the internment zone wasn’t on your agenda, and him transferring further away from you wasn’t on his.<br/>
<br/>
While you still saw him whenever you were needed in the general hospital, your interactions with him were sparse but that didn’t discourage him from still trying to break you down and get you to agree to a date… and, if his behaviour <em> does </em> escalate in Paradis, who are you going to tell? Magath? <em> He’d have bigger things to worry about there, no doubt. </em> There’d be considerably few Maleyans or fellow medical staff available to shield you.<br/>
<br/>
You just let out another sigh. “I suppose you’re right. I just wish you could come too.”<br/>
<br/>
Linda flashes a quick smile, <em> “you’ll be fineee” </em> she says, reaching her hand out to pat your shoulder encouragingly. Although, she then slowly glances over to the cups on the table.<br/>
<br/>
“Do you have plans tonight? A few people are going out after work since everyone’s off tomorrow!” She chirps, and suddenly, you’re acutely aware that you <em> do </em> have plans.<br/>
<br/>
“I- uh- actually promised my cousin I’d meet her after work tonight.” You’re lying through your teeth, but Linda doesn’t question it. “Suit yourself!” she shrugs, taking the cups from the table, “I’ll just do some tidying up before I head out - unless you need me for anything?”<br/>
<br/>
Shaking your head, she flips her hair over, “Well, at any rate, I assume you’re still joining the staff for the speech tomorrow, right?”<br/>
<br/>
“Oh, definitely! I haven’t forgotten about that.” No doubt all the hospital staff who had the night off would be attending Lord Tybur’s speech tomorrow night, which likely meant Linda and Emma, and probably Dr. Brandt and some others too. Not fully looking forward to that confrontation, but nonetheless excited for tomorrow, there hasn’t been a festival in ages, and as far as you know - there’s never been one <em> in </em> the internment zone.<br/>
<br/>
Once Linda leaves, you tornado through your notes, hastily throwing things into folders, packing up so you have time to go to the markets for tonight - the feelings from earlier in the day buried deep beneath new thoughts… you can’t remember the last time you had a man in your apartment.<br/>
<br/>
<em> You also never asked what Porco likes to eat… being near the port, seafood was always in abundance, but maybe he prefers something else - seafood might be too common here? How fancy do you make things? Will it be awkward if you get a desert too? </em> You’ve never been so nervous for anyone, and yet, you felt like a teenager once again. Giddy to the brim with nerves and excitement.<br/>
<br/>
You stop by the markets on your way home, picking up some chicken, vegetables, potatoes, and even a bottle of wine and a small cake. All safe options, but you felt good about your ability to make something decent with these ingredients.<br/>
<br/>
By the time you get to your apartment, it’s already 5:30, and you get to work right away - changing into a nicer dress and styling your hair to give it a light, feathery bounce. Your dress is simple - black, a-line to your knees, but with a slightly deep neckline, scooping low to really accentuate your cleavage. Not overly sexual, but still a dramatic contrast to the more modest dresses you’ve worn to work. You throw a white apron on top immediately after so as not to ruin it, then open the windows to air out the apartment and turn on the stovetop to begin cooking. Boiling potatoes, preparing a glaze for the chicken, chopping and washing vegetables, you were making good headway and had only just put the chicken in to cook as a sharp knock arrives at your door.<br/>
<br/>
You check the clock, and find that it’s 6pm on the dot. You lower the heat, and smooth over your apron to open the door and are stunned - seeing the handsome blonde, dressed nicer-than-usual, a smile spread broadly across his face.<br/>
<br/>
“You’re… early…” is all you can say. Before you Porco stood, looking better than ever. In the dingy hallway of your cheap apartment, he stood like a beacon of a man. A crisp white button up pressed to his torso, tucked into charcoal pants, formal black shoes, and his blonde hair slicked back into his signature style, but you could tell he had freshly cleaned up before heading here. There was a slight redness to his face. <em> Maybe nerves, or maybe flush from the heat. </em><br/>
<br/>
You realize you’ve been staring too long when he shifts about uncomfortably. “Oh, I’m so sorry- come in, come in,” you usher. “I know it’s small, but I’m not quite done cooking yet, so please make yourself comfortable.” You shut the door behind him, “can I get you anything? Wine, maybe?” pulling the bottle and two glasses as you bring them to the table.<br/>
<br/>
“Yeah, that’d be great,” he says, trailing off. He quickly loses himself in absorbing the little, but eclectic decor of your apartment. The soft wooden furniture and quaint kitchen was small, but for one person it was more than enough. Lace tablecloth, and matching curtains fluttered in. Still plenty of daylight to illuminate the walls. He notices you twirl around the kitchen in your slippers, the apron fastened around your waist accentuated all the right parts of your body, deliciously so. And the low cut of the apron, falling open slightly to reveal your cleavage. He sees you fumble with the corkscrew and bottle, and then offers to take it - I can handle it - he almost reaches out as if to say, but you pop the cork before he can even get a word in.<br/>
<br/>
“Don’t let the housewife get-up fool you,” you roll your eyes playfully, while pouring him a glass full of crisp white. “I’ve spent years lifting grown men on and off of stretchers, besides,” you push the glass towards him on the table top, “Work gets stressful sometimes. I know my way through a bottle of wine.”<br/>
<br/>
Porco chuckles at this, seeing you so domestic and stereotypically feminine was definitely foreign, yet also definitely a turn-on for him. But, he shouldn’t be surprised. He’s seen you be nothing but strong and serious at work… this was probably the first time he’s ever truly seen you in a space where you’re not obligated to wear a mask or speak with a filter.<br/>
<br/>
There’s a lightness to you under your own roof, and he relishes the sight.<br/>
<br/>
You pour yourself a glass as well and raise it to him, “cheers?”<br/>
“Cheers.” He smiled back with his cheeky, crooked smile, “to tonight, and the months ahead of us.”<br/>
<br/>
It took no guesswork to know what he was referencing. Paradis was an opportunity that came up so suddenly, but it was no doubt going to mean the two of you would be spending a lot of time together. The thought made you so nervous and yet, you <em> clink </em> your glass to his ceremoniously, and take a sip.<br/>
<br/>
You return to cooking as he hovers nearby, taking in just how methodical you are.<br/>
<br/>
“So, <em> months… </em> ” you repeat back to, “By that, I take it that Magath told you that I’ll be accompanying you all to Paradis?”<br/>
<br/>
Porco nods solemnly at this, “He told us this afternoon. I think he was relieved by it, as all the warriors are.” He takes another sip of wine.<br/>
<br/>
There’s been a bit of a nervous edge, maybe because he got here earlier than you expected which made you feel a little unprepared, or maybe because it’s been so long since you’ve last been on any sort of date, if you could call it that, with this man.<br/>
<br/>
He then puts down his glass of wine, and brings out his messenger bag opening it gingerly, “by the way - I got you these.”<br/>
<br/>
He pulls out a small bouquet of vibrant seasonal flowers.<br/>
<br/>
“They might be a little crinkled, I had to hide them. Didn’t want anyone to expect that my business outside the internment zone was… in self-interest,” he admits this sheepishly, slightly embarrassed by his gift, but he was lying.<br/>
<br/>
<em> The flowers weren’t crinkled at all. They were perfect. </em><br/>
<br/>
“Oh, Porco, they’re beautiful,” you gush, getting a tall, cylindrical vase from your cabinet.<br/>
<br/>
He takes a second to admire all the things you have to yourself. Outside of his family home, he had never truly owned much. At least not in a way where his items felt like his own. He’d resigned himself to a life of impermanence. You didn’t though, and your possessions showed this. Small photographs, soft blankets in a basket, knick knacks and paintings, dishes visible in full cabinets, and a shelf full of books lined the wall framing the windows.<br/>
<br/>
He watched you put together the flowers in the vase, fresh water, placing it on the counter top. It was a little embarrassing to him, he’d never properly given a girl flowers before, but something inside nudged at him, making it feel as though it was the right thing to do. Taking a sip of his wine, he sneaks a glance at your face through the liquid - a smile pulling at the corners of your lips as you fuss over arranging the flowers brings him to a sigh of relief. <em> Getting the flowers was a good call </em> , <em> he thinks to himself. </em><br/>
<br/>
“Dinner will be ready soon,” you call from over your shoulder, adjusting the temperature of the oven.<br/>
<br/>
“Is there anything I can-” Porco tries to start, but you’re already shooing him away with your free hand, while the other pulls plates and tableware from a cabinet.<br/>
<br/>
“This was my idea.” You say, “you’re my guest, I’ll take care of it - now take a seat.” And in a matter of minutes, you pull together one of the best meals he’s seen in awhile. It’s nothing too fancy, but it looks and smells so inviting, braised chicken, potatoes with butter and herbs, and an assortment of vegetables. You fix him a plate and place everything down before him, then uncinching your apron, he gets a look at just how form-fitting and flattering that dress is on you. You’ve always been pretty in his eyes, but tonight you were that and so much more.<br/>
<br/>
The food cooking may have smelled good, but it was <em> you </em> who looked truly, absolutely <em> delicious </em> to him.<br/>
<br/>
His mouth fell slightly slack, and he needs to catch himself as you ask “more wine?” He just nods as you top up his glass, and take a seat at the table directly across from him.<br/>
<br/>
Although you were nervous when he’d first arrived, and worried over whether or not he’d be happy with dinner, seeing him in front of you like this made you feel so at ease.<br/>
<br/>
He had good table manners, and seemed to enjoy the food ( <em> which, you’ve got to hand it to yourself this time - you really did cook everything perfectly </em> ). There’s no doubt that the wine helped ease up the conversation.<br/>
<br/>
Everything flowed so naturally, and you quickly realized that he was quite an illustrious story teller, his eyes came to life when he talked about his childhood, his parents, the way him and his brother would always get up to mischief, and the things Marcel would do to cover up after him. <em> This was rare </em> , anytime he had brought up his brother in psych evaluations or when you’d first met him years ago while tending to his mother, there was always an eternal mourning present in the way he spoke of Marcel, and the burden he continued to bear because of it. <em> Not this time though - and honestly, you loved seeing this side of him. He was so vulnerable, but willingly and happily so. </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em><br/>
</em> You also shared stories of your family before you grew distant from them, of your days in school, up until you started to volunteer at the Liberio General Hospital. As someone who had little say in whether or not he could become a warrior, Porco was genuinely interested in how you came to choose your own path. In a world where you could be anything, or anyone, why did you choose to serve others, to watch patients endure horrible pain, performing the same rounds of tests - day in and day out.<br/>
<br/>
“It was the only thing that ever made me feel… <em> useful </em> , I guess” you admit, trying to find the right wording. Sure, it felt great to help people, and to serve some of the most important people in all of Marley, but it was by no means glamorous work. Schedules were often demanding, and you’ve cried on the job more times than you could count - but it’s the only thing that gave you a true sense of independence. “I’d thought about maybe becoming a teacher, or working in my parents’ bakery-” you trail off, swirling the remnants of your wine around in the glass,<br/>
<br/>
“But, I’d always see signs recruiting for volunteers. I did well enough in science, and… I guess I just can only barely remember a time when Marley wasn’t at war. So briefly - from my childhood. I think I just want to do my part in helping the world return to that time. It might seem vain, but I’d like to think what I do now makes more of a difference than if I were some teacher or some baker.”<br/>
<br/>
You gulp back the final sip of wine.<br/>
<br/>
You’d never given it that much thought before, and your honesty surprised even yourself here.<br/>
<br/>
“Well, I think all of the warriors like you quite a lot,” Porco says, <em> “at least I know I do.” </em><br/>
<br/>
You feel your face flush at the compliment. Maybe the wine was making him a little bolder than usual, but you’ve never seen him so open. Shyly, you try to brush it off, “here,” you take his plate and begin clearing the table, but he stands up with you, “I’ll help.” he says.<br/>
<br/>
His tone was firm, there was no arguing here.<br/>
<br/>
“You cooked and set all this up for me. I’d feel pretty shitty if I just sat around while you cleaned up too.”<br/>
<br/>
He didn’t have to offer, but it was nice that he had.<br/>
<br/>
Wordlessly he collects all the dishes and starts to run them under warm water, and you go to his side, “at least let me dry, then” he nods and hands you a plate as you take it to a dry dish cloth, holding it up in the fleeting sunlight, he stops and gives you a side-eye. “Just making sure your dish-washing is up to standard, Galliard.” you say teasingly.<br/>
<br/>
At this he nudges your side with his elbow, handing you another plate. “I can be useful, too.” And like that, you chide each other back and forth. The teasing comes easily, Porco’s naturally sharp mouth only emboldened by the wine - which you still have yet to finish the bottle.<br/>
<br/>
After he hands you the last of the dinner dishes, you feel his presence behind you, fingers listlessly dancing across the small of your back.<br/>
<br/>
You shudder instantly, going rigid and nearly dropping the plate in your hands.<br/>
<br/>
As soon as you turn around, accusingly, there’s a sheepish grin across Porcos face, as he raises one arm, running his fingers through his hair with one hand, as he clutches the half-finished bottle of wine in the other.<br/>
<br/>
“Well, are we finishing this, or what?” he asks, already knowing the answer. You grab the little box of cake and two forks, sauntering over to the table, intentionally ensuring that your dress twirls just a little bit.<br/>
<br/>
“Bring it over here,” you say as you head over to the living room, by now the sunset was in plain sight. Through your open windows and balcony, you could see that the sky had turned a vivid fuschia with ripples of orange as the sun burned fervently in its last moments of the day.<br/>
<br/>
Porco wordlessly obliges; placing the two glasses on the table in front of you, emptying the bottle between the two. You light a small candle, anticipating the inevitable darkness that would soon envelop the two of you.<br/>
<br/>
He loosens up against the back of the couch, swirling his full glass of wine as he looks out at the sunset, “this is… really nice,” he admits, keeping his eyes on the horizon.<br/>
<br/>
Fumbling with the lid of the tiny cake box, you take a forkful of cake and slide closer to him, so close your thighs brush against his. “Here,” he looks at you as he lets you feed him the cake, and his eyes immediately widen. “Mmmh-” swallows quickly, “that’s <em> really </em> good!” and you take a bite for yourself. It wasn’t anything special, a plain cake, with cream and summer berries, but then he says “We don’t really get desserts in the internment zone - even if we’re warriors” and it all makes sense…<br/>
<br/>
As much time as you spent working in the internment zone, a lot of the subtleties in the differences in your lives went unnoticed by you.<br/>
<br/>
Slightly bittered by this realization, you take another forkful of cake, “have more then!”<br/>
<br/>
He doesn’t decline, and washes it down with another sip of wine. By this point you’ve moved so close to him you’re comfortably nuzzled up against him, your head resting slightly on his neck as you watch the sunset together, silently sipping your wine, and eating a forkful of cake as well.<br/>
<br/>
While your apartment wasn’t large or nice by any means - it was comfortable. And its views were unmatched, especially in the evening. Elevated just enough to see the port, and always facing west.<br/>
<br/>
Feeling a little tipsy from the wine, you readjust into him. Porco invitingly brings you closer, bringing his arm around your shoulder, delicately tracing patterns along your arm with one hand and his glass of wine still swirling in the other. <em> A nervous habit? </em> You reciprocate, pulling your legs up on the couch so your knees brush into his thigh, then latching your arms around him, lightly feeling his heartbeat.<br/>
<br/>
That’s when you feel <em> it </em> .<br/>
<br/>
You bring your hand back and tug at the coarseness of his red warrior armband. You know it’s a source of pride, a badge of honour to an Eldian. But to you it was a constant reminder of the inappropriateness of everything you were doing right now. A constant reminder of how other Marleyans expected you to treat him. <em> A constant reminder that, like he said after returning from Fort Slava, you were too different to realistically work as an actual couple. </em><br/>
<br/>
“You don’t need to wear that here, not when we’re like this…” you trail off. He puts his glass down on the table and twists his body on the couch to face you. His brow furrows ever so slightly, and he bites his plump lower lip intently. Quickly, you realize that you probably just broached a very sensitive topic, “I’m sorry-” you start, “I really wasn’t thinking when I said that. If it doesn’t bother you, then it doesn’t bother me…”<br/>
<br/>
Your words falter, and you silently curse yourself for ruining the moment.<br/>
<br/>
In the end, you’re not the same, <em> and never will be </em> .<br/>
<br/>
It would be so much easier if you were, but, had you each not been in your own positions all those years ago, you would have never even met. You loosely drop your fingers from his armband - but he catches them. Wrapping them in his own. His expression perplexes you as he glances out to the fleeting sunset. The sun itself no longer in sight, just a few stray golden ripples reflected in the clouds.<br/>
<br/>
His eyes return to yours, right where they belong. And for a second longer, there’s nothing between you. He squeezes your hand affirmingly, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. There’s nothing you can do but stare up at his creased brow and soft eyes. He heaves his chest up and lowers his forehead to yours. His rounded nose dances around the bridge of your nose.<br/>
<br/>
That’s when he takes his free hand and removes the armband, outstretching his arm to dangle the red fabric over the edge of the couch. He unclasps his other hand from yours only to bring it to your face, caressing your cheek before cupping your chin, forcing you to watch as he lets it drop it to the floor. His grip is firm, but there’s a softness you feel from his fingertips<br/>
<br/>
Your gaze fluctuates between the discarded armband, to the bare spot on the sleeve of his crisp button-up, then back up to his face. <em> The significance of this action isn’t lost on you </em> .<br/>
<br/>
Effectively, one of Marley’s strongest just committed treason, at <em> your </em> request nonetheless. There were so few circumstances where this was permissible. Yes, you’ve removed clothes and armbands when dressing wounds and assessing them, but that was required. This act was of Porco Galliard’s own defiant volition.<br/>
<br/>
<em> “Only with you.” </em> His tone is stern, yet the worried expression searing across his face betrays him. <em> “Don’t let me live to regret trusting you.” </em> It sounded like a demand, and yet the vulnerability in his eyes told you this was truly a plea beyond all else.<br/>
<br/>
You don’t break eye contact.<br/>
<br/>
Breathing heavily, but steadily, you ease into him. “I’ve never betrayed you before,” you confess, “have I?” He sheepishly shakes his head no, and you reassuringly feather your fingers through his pushed-back blonde strands, softly twirling the longer pieces between your fingers before going down to caress the subtle pricks of his freshly-shaved undercut.<br/>
<br/>
“If it meant having you in my life, Porco, I would betray Marley a thousand times over.”<br/>
<br/>
You pull his head into the crook of your neck, breathing in the discernibly masculine scent of his cologne. Letting the broadness of his strong arms enclose you within the presence of him.<br/>
<br/>
<em> “I don’t think there’s any going back at this point,” </em> you breathe softly, barely audible among the beating of hearts. The breath of your words tickles across his neck, only causing him to hold you tighter. <em> “At least, there’s no going back for me at this point.” </em><br/>
<em><br/>
</em> <em> “Me neither,” </em> he whispers, lowering his mouth to graze at your ear, delicately running over your earlobe with his teeth.<br/>
<br/>
The final rays of sunset fading in the distance, you couldn’t imagine a better end to the day than you being wrapped up in him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>aaaahhh. I feel kinda bad ending things there, but I felt like this chapter was getting a little long ^^;</p><p>Hopefully this provides some good set-up for what might happen next~</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Secrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content warning: Smut</p><p>This chapter will be very nsfw, and have explicit smut throughout. (Some fluff towards the end too, but mainly smut)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em><span>Unexpected.</span></em> <br/><br/><span>This entire evening was going better than you could have imagined. As much as you knew you had liked Porco, and for how long you had these feelings, there was a part of you that feared he may not live up to your expectations, but everything about his presence was so much better than anything you could have conjured up in your dreams. <br/></span><span><br/></span><span>It seems like an eternity where you’re holding one another. The setting sun your only witness as your fingers cling to him and you loosely play with his longer strands of hair, your head resting into his shoulder. There was nothing unreadable about his pose, nothing ambiguous about the way he pulled you into his lap, holding you delicately. One hand at the base of your neck, tracing patterns into your exposed skin, occasionally dusting back your hair; his other hand lay over the small of your back. </span><span><br/></span><span>You could feel him waver in pressure, trying to strike a balance between comfort while still being respectful.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>But it felt too late for any of that.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He had you in exactly the </span><em><span>right</span></em><span> position. Giving you every inclination to move things forward. Just a quick, breathy kiss above his jaw. So delicate, so subtle, he could’ve sworn he’d imagined it. </span></p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The tension is already too much, and you whimper involuntarily at the sensation, wrapping your legs firmly around his wide torso, forgetting about the decency, as your dress rises up a little too high for any modesty in this position.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>At this, Porco pushes you backwards onto the couch, cupping his hand under your head to ensure you’re not too taken aback by the aggressive shove.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>His body looming over yours dominantly, your legs firmly hooked around his lower back as the hem of your dress falls up to your hips. Panties on full display, but you’re not even sure if he’s noticed yet. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He peppers kisses along your neck and down your collarbone. His face so close to yours as he supports himself with his elbows. “You sure you want this?” he asks, ever cautious and uncharacteristically shy.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Absolutely.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> you continue to play with the loose strands of blonde that have come undone, smiling with a stupidly wide grin as you twirl them around.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“With me?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Again, he’s wanting to be certain </span>
  <em>
    <span>that you’re certain</span>
  </em>
  <span> before broaching anything that definitely would mean no going back. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>At this you pull your hands back and sigh, coyly shaking your head, “I don’t know how to make this any clearer, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pock” </span>
  </em>
  <span>you taunt him with his own nickname, “but, there is </span>
  <em>
    <span>no one else </span>
  </em>
  <span>in this world who I could want more. Now, if there anything else </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to say, or… are you sure you want this?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>At this he pulls back slightly, staring into you </span>
  <em>
    <span>“More than anything,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> he puts a finger to your lips to hush you, “just let me blow out the candle, these windows are wide open, people might see…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Seizing the opportunity, you playfully take his finger to your mouth, nibbling it slightly.as he slides it out, bewildered. His eyes wide with disbelief that you could be so vulgar, but if actions did speak louder than words, you were giving him very explicit directions.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He turns back to look at you just before blowing out the candle, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>holy fuck is he thankful he did</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Your bare thighs were wrapped completely around his lower-torso, dress messily over splayed your hips. Your body taught and hips writhing in the most subtle way, as thin black panties were on full display. He gulped at the realization that your pussy was so close to his stiffening cock. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dangerously close. Only mere inches aways. </span>
  </em>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>His eyes slowly trailed up your body, your dress still covered the majority of your body, but with the low neckline, your breasts were on full display. The angle at which you were laying down presented all of you in such a tantalizing way. Candle flames shadow over your cleavage, making your every breath noticeable as your chest falls and rises. Then your face… there was a beauty to how undone you were. Strands of hair unraveled next to your face as your cheeks flushed in an inviting glow. He was so accustomed to seeing the professional depiction of you in a doctors’ coat, hair tied back, and expression always serious. To see you so physically disheveled before him, before he had even begun to enjoy your presence was an indulgence of its own. It made him feel like the luckiest man in Liberio, no- </span>
  <em>
    <span>the luckiest man in the world</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He had to be. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The look of hunger in your eyes matched his, and he couldn’t decide if he wanted to take you in and savour you, or ravage you to no end. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>It wasn’t until you called him out that he snapped out of it. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Now, who’s the one staring this time?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” you say innocently, as you gaze up at him arching an eyebrow, secretly knowing exactly what you were doing to him. The comment no doubt a reference to what he said to you days ago when he’d returned from Fort Slava. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>And that was it. </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>That comment was all it took.</span>
  </em>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>In one swoop, he cupped an arm under your back, and picked you up, quickly blowing out the candle before pressing his lips to your neck. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>You were in complete darkness as you mention, “my bedroom is just over there-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>And as soon as he opened the door it was a full on attack. He lunged onto the bed with you, greedily kissing at your neck and along the ridge of your collarbone, suckling gently each time he pulled away. He then started to kiss lower and lower as he unzipped your dress from the back, gently removing it from your shoulders, then downwards as he started to peel away your dress. You tilted your head back, giving him full access to the skin on display as you tried to make quick work of unbuttoning his shirt. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>You could only get through a few buttons before, he started pulling at your clothes, your dress half-off as it dangled over your waist. He was hasty and desperate and absolutely manhandling you out of the dress until it fell to the floor and you were on back. Porco was standing on his knees, hovering over your pelvis as he toyed with the hem of your lace panties over your left hip. His other hand skillfully slipped through the last few buttons of his shirt as he shrugged it off, and you couldn’t help but stare. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>It was the first time you’d felt invited to truly stare at him. He always had a nice body, but tonight, it was on full display for you. The moonlight accentuated his contours well. There were sharp lines clearly rippling across the abs of his torso, down to a tapered v-line. Truly no part of him was left unsculpted. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>You were so engrossed in him that you nearly forgot about your own insecurities. He had only ever seen you in shapeless work clothes. Ill-fitting scrubs or oversized dresses in your early days at the general hospital, but then equally shapeless and highly modest dresses, oversized sweaters, or doctors’ coats in the headquarters. This was the first time he was probably able to truly see your body and you start to tense up beneath his gaze. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He unhooks his fingers from the waistband of your panties, and begins to trace them up your body. It’s as though he’s reading your mind as he closes the gap between you, leaning down to your ear. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He speaks in a low, husky voice, punctuating each word with a tender kiss along your jawline, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“What. The. Hell. Did. I. Do. To. Deserve. You.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> before finally setting his lips on yours, pulling your lips gently with his plump, juicy ones. He slips his tongue in yours, and like just like last night, you were deep into a passionate makeout session, only this time with far fewer layers between the two of you, both physically and emotionally. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>You’re completely surrendered to him, a willing prisoner beneath his body. After feeling drawn to him for so long, you didn’t want to dream of a life where you exist separately of him. Breathing heavily, and your heartbeat echoing in your ears, you find yourself constantly trying to pull in closer to him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Porco can only handle so much before he props you up against him, fingers deftly searching your back before unclasping your bra with a quick snap. It’s not the first time he’s done this, but that doesn’t matter. He squeezes a handful of one of your breasts while rolling a nipple between his fingers, taking it into his mouth and sucking it gently. He nibbles slightly, just enough to make you yelp out in a soft moan and wrap your arms around him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span><em>“Shh,”</em> he rasps as he goes back down, now suckling at your other nipple, “this shouldn’t hurt too badly” he smirks almost devilishly up at you. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Now, are you going to tell me what you want, or are you just going to keep letting me have my way with you?” He pulls at your nipple with his teeth and you cry out in a steady moan, louder this time. Any shred of modesty you had before of him was gone, out the window, there was no way around him anymore.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Those didn’t sound like words,” he sings, “where was all that moxy you had just a few minutes ago? Not so in-control anymore are you?” He dragged his teeth up your breast planting his lips along your collarbone. You’re lost in your own overhead of emotions, feeling the heat between your thighs only grow deeper. Your skin a bundle of exposed nerves, completely at his disposal, but you were impatient. You have been wanting this man for so long, and now he’s right before you. Swiftly, you swing your leg over his hip, using your legs to pull him into you. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Here…” you gasp, “I want you, here.” You take his hand from your breast, trailing it down your stomach and under the waistband of your panties. Sliding it in slowly, Porco’s eyes widen as he gets a feel for just how wet you are. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re dripping,” he whispers, already satisfied, “and we’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>baaarely</span>
  </em>
  <span> even started” He says dangerously close to your ear. You roll your head into him, and he takes advantage of your vulnerability, plunging a finger inside. A hitched gasp escapes your mouth immediately, as he swirls it inside of you experimentally - paying close attention to your face and which movements prompt your hips to roll into his hand. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You like that, don’t you?</span>
  </em>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span><em>“M-more”</em> is all you can say in response as you nod impatiently. The anticipation was killing you. Your entire body at his mercy, and he was still half dressed. His self-control here was definitely beyond your expectations. But, the size of the bulge in his pants told you that wouldn’t be the case for much longer. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“So few words, yet you’re so demanding…”</span>
  </em>
  <span> he tsks, clicking his tongue. “Tell me how it feels if you want it so badly, baby.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>His honeyed eyes brazen with lust gage your face attentively. Taking in how you react to each movement of his hand, before thrusting a second- then a third- finger inside of you. He expertly curls them upwards, exploring your insides until he finally pushes against your g-spot. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>You buck your hips upwards on impact, and he only takes this as an encouragement to keep going, he quickens his pace as rushes into you with one hand to your pussy and the other pressing you down into the bed. You bite the inside of your cheeks and close your eyes, involuntarily quivering as you know you won’t last much longer at this pace. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>And as though he was reading how close you were getting, he slides his fingers out and into his mouth, licking each of his plump fingers one by one as you stare up at him, completely at his mercy as he grabs your panties, pulling them off in one swift motion, flinging them into some corner of the bedroom. You don’t care where. He eyes you down intently, getting off the bed and standing over, pulling you by your legs spreading you before him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re pretty… so fucking pretty,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> he breathes, dropping to the floor so he’s kneeling at your bedside. Delicately he places each of your legs over his shoulders, slowly dragging his head lower, placing a delicate trail of suckling kisses along your inner-thigh, leaving no room to doubt where he’d be placing his lips soon.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p><span>“I know you want it, but I just need more of you first,” he says, his lips dangerously close to your pussy. “Can you do that for me, sweetheart?” You nod impatiently, letting out a whimpered ‘</span><em><span>mhm’</span></em><span> as you clutch on to the bedsheets, twisting your fingers into folds of fabric. Again, he’s so close you feel his breath on you for a quick moment, before he takes your clit in between his lips. Sucking it deeply, but slow and tender, as he twists his tongue around until you gasp out uncontrollably.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He taps his fingers playfully over your bare thigh before grabbing you firmly, seeing that there’s already a thin layer of sweat, allowing your body to glisten under the moonlight, between the warm weather and the pleasure, you are completely pliant before him and his mouth, your body an absolute marvel in his eyes. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Porco smirks, knowing exactly how to work his mouth as he laps the folds of your pussy, slurping shamelessly as he savours every taste of you. He is torturous in his control and detail, enjoying both the taste and your body’s responses immensely. All the while, your head was thrown back, unable to contain yourself as you push your fingers from the folds of the bedsheets into his hair, messing up its typically perfect style, grabbing a fistful imploring him to go deeper, to not stop.</span> <em><span><br/></span></em><em><span><br/></span></em><em><span>No matter what, you didn’t want him to stop. </span></em><em><span><br/></span></em><span><br/></span><span>You could feel everything. From his fingers holding one of your thighs over his bare shoulder, then him rubbing your clit between the thumb and index finger of your other hand. The side of his face pressed against your inner thigh as his tongue slipped inside of you, really giving him a proper taste of you.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>The more you grab at his hair, the more he moans into you. He swirls his tongue around a few times, pressing his grasp into your thigh firmly to hold you in place.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Finally having had enough, and his cock on the verge of splitting out of his pants, as much as he’d relish in the sight of seeing you writhe with his tongue in your cunt a little longer, he can’t hold himself back anymore. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You wince as he lets go of you and stands up. Instantly, you miss the feeling of him pressed against you, either his tongue or fingers filling you up, but you hear the clink of his belt falling to the floor and immediately perk your head upwards and open your eyes. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>You know he’s about to fill you with so much more.</span></em><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>There’s a brief second before he unzips his pants and looks down at you, </span><em><span>“stay down” </span></em><span>he says, an authoritative edge to his voice,</span><em><span> “you’re definitely wet enough now.”</span></em><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>There was a sultry rasp to his voice, and you hear his pants fall to the floor as he holds his cock with one hand, pumping it in preparation, even though he’s already at full mast. Your eyes can’t help but stare at his girth. Truthfully, everything about Porco was quite thick, it’s not a surprise he’d be thick in </span><em><span>other places</span></em><span>. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He springs on the bed, worked up, but still full of energy and fervor. Using his one hand to line his cock up against your hole before leaning down to your face and cupping your cheek to the other, fingers gently grazing along the side of your face. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,”</span></em><span> He whispers gently, still toying with the head of his cock at your entrance. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“Me too,”</span></em><span> you confess, breathing in the scent of him, tenderly placing your hands along his jawline. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He moves his other hand up into your hair, stroking you gently before mumbling ‘such a pretty girl’ into your ear. Before you can even register the weight of what he says, you feel his cock enter you, stretching you to your limits as he slowly eases in and out before giving you his full length. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>A silent scream escapes your mouth as you take him in, your hands moving frantically from his face down his muscular back. Feeling every contour of his body as he slowly thrusts into you, adjusting to the tightness before finding his rhythm. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“You take my cock so well,”</span></em><span> he grunts into your neck, </span><em><span>“so fucking well,”</span></em><span> he echoes as he picks up speed. His voice is deep and breathy. From beneath him, you grip onto his back, rolling your hips in synchronicity with his. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You’re an incoherent mess, already overstimulated from his very attentive foreplay, just trying to keep up with him, trying to make sure he feels good as he stretches your insides. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Clearly, you don’t need to try too hard though, as he murmurs praises against your neck, biting down periodically between words, no doubt with enough force to leave a few marks. His compliments only get more and more disjointed as he gasps between words, his hips bucking with relentless throes as he becomes increasing unforgiving with the way his size stretches your walls. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He pulls away from your neck, admiring his handiwork. Clear splotches of reds and purples decorated your upper body. Like a forbidden garden; so wrong, yet too beautiful to stay away from. </span><em><span><br/></span></em><em><span><br/></span></em><em><span>He knew he could never hold your hand in public, take you on dates, or parade you about everyone he knew - and this pains him deeply on the inside - but none of that matters behind closed doors - you were still his</span></em><span>, </span><em><span>and he wanted to make that as clear as he possibly could. </span></em><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Sitting back up onto his knees, he pulls you closer into him, admiring how beautiful you look. His cock still firmly inside, he starts palming at your breasts and giving your nipples a light pinch before reeling back at a slower pace, trying to take in the moment, but he can tell you’re close. Your eyes heavy and lidded and you mewl with each thrust. He so badly wants this sight to be with him forever, but he knows it’s only a matter of time for him as well. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He places your legs over his shoulder and reaches beneath you, grabbing your ass roughly to prop you up as he thrusts into you, noticing the layer of thick white cream already slickly around his cock.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“Baby, tell me when you’re close”</span></em><span> he urges, snapping his hips into yours as you take every inch of him so fucking beautifully. The tension evident on your face, as he watches your breasts bounce up and down with each thrust.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“</span><em><span>...very close,</span></em><span>” you say weakly, reaching out for him even though he’s positioned just slightly out of your grasp. His pace only quickens as he watches your soft, desperate face. “</span><em><span>Very- mhm-</span></em><span>” you abandon the thought of reaching for him and instead try to hold onto his muscular legs, your fingernails digging through his skin, but it quickly becomes too much - his hips don’t ease up. If anything, he’s going at you harder and more fervently than before. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>He knows you’re desperate, but he is too. </span></em><em><span><br/></span></em><em><span><br/></span></em><span>It’s only a matter of time before the thrusts become too much. He crashes in and out of you; allowing your body no time to register his absence by the time he has you stuffed with his cock again.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Closing your eyes, you can’t handle it, as you feel yourself release with his cock fully inside of you.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You come suddenly and intensely. Your moans are loud, and undoubtedly your neighbors can hear. Your legs go stiff over his shoulders, heels digging into his sculpted back, as writhe beneath him before your body goes limp. The walls of your pussy clench firmly around his cock, your juices spilling out and making a mess around him. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>The feeling of your warmth, your complete surrender to him, catch Porco off guard and he can’t help himself. </span><em><span>Agh. “I’m coming, I’m coming - where do you-”</span></em><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“Inside-” </span></em><span>you cut him off, </span><em><span>“I want you inside.” </span></em><span>Your voice is a whimper. A needy, desperate whimper. You couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving you.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>His eyes go wide at the request, he didn’t expect it-</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“Please-”</span></em><span> you say wearily looking up at him. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>And with a few thrusts he obliges. His moans are deep and steady, so satisfying to hear, as he pushes inside of you. Letting your legs and hips fall as he clamors on top of you, his cock still inside and twitching as he emptied himself. He leans in to kiss you, and you return, brushing his matted, unkempt hair from his sweat-soaked brow. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He only breaks contact with your lips to plant a soft kiss to your forehead. “Got any towels? We should clean you up…” Porco props himself up on his elbows, and you’re still basking in the afterglow of sex, but manage to point to a small closet “just in there,” you whisper, chest still rising and falling, steadying slightly as you try to catch your breath.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He returns to you in an instant, helping you clean yourself up, and lovingly pulling unruly strands of hair out of your eyes, kissing your forehead and also kissing over the little markings he left along your collarbone, before he stands back up.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“Porco…” </span></em><span>you call out gently, extending your arm as you hear him sliding his boxers back on. You fold over part of your duvet and pat gently on the mattress. </span><em><span>“Please… stay if you can. It’s so late out.” </span></em><em><span><br/></span></em><span><br/></span><span>He gives it barely a second’s hesitation before he rolls into bed with you, taking you under his arm while pulling you into his chest. He's tired too, and you roll into him effortlessly. The warmth of his bare chest, the weight of his protective arm over your naked body, You’re sweaty and tired, even though he was the one doing most of the work. It’s rare that you’ve ever been </span><em><span>this</span></em><span> passive in the bedroom, but he moved so swiftly and so roughly, you barely had time to catch your breath. It was a sharp contrast to your personality, but you liked this side of him.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Tracing along the fresh marks of love-bites and hickeys speckled along your neck and collarbone, Porco admires his handiwork, but catches himself slightly-</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“I wasn’t too rough, was I?” </span></em><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>His tone seemed so startled, almost apologetic. His face was unkempt and weary, but his eyes were alive with concern. Anticipating your answer.</span><span><br/></span><em><span><br/></span></em><em><span>“You were perfect,”</span></em><span> is all you say before leaning up to plant a kiss on his mouth, tugging slightly at his plump lower lip. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Though it had been a good several minutes, you still felt a high. The way he thrust into you, the way he used his own mouth to mark you, to the tender way he held and cared for you now - things couldn't have gone better. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>The way you curled into his chest, so pliant and satisfied with him, nudging your head into the crook of his neck, resting the palm of your hand over his pec, your features soft as your breathing steadies -- </span><em><span>he could get used to a sight like this</span></em><span>, he thought to himself, a smile pulling steadily at his mouth. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Truthfully, he didn’t know what to expect, he imagined you beneath him so many times before, but no fantasy could compare to what had just happened. He’d only ever seen you at work; serious, brazen, and in-control of everything and everyone. And here you are now, completely naked beneath plush blankets as your thighs wrapped over one of his legs, and you affectionately cuddled up to him, happily unravelled and speechless. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Here is where he made the realization that he barely knew you at all, but so badly, he needed to know </span><em><span>every</span></em><span> part of you. He was greedy for it, he wanted it all.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“Hey…” </span></em><span>he starts, petting his fingers through your messy hair.</span><em><span> “Can you tell me something about yourself? Something I wouldn't know about you.”</span></em><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You crane your neck to look up at him. </span><em><span>“Like a secret?”</span></em><span> you ask, thoroughly confused by what he means. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“Yeah… just like… I don’t know-” he starts propping himself up a little better against the pillow, raising his arm to run his fingers through his hair. </span><em><span>Ugh, how that pose of his always gets you - even in a state like this.</span></em><span> His unintentionally flexed tricep and overstretched torso inviting you into him. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“You’re always the one to ask me questions. I feel like you know so much about me, and my family, and my… feelings.” He admits, stammering ever so slightly, his brow furrowing subtly, but he doesn’t take his other hand off from your shoulder. If anything, he just grips you harder. “Not just for you, but about becoming a titan shifter, my burdens, really... personal things… no one else knows me like this. And well, I want to know about you too.”</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You think back to nearly four years ago, when he didn’t even care to learn your name at first. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>It took you years to peel away back his layers, to chip away at his hard exterior - all in the name of psych and medical evaluations… you had never anticipated he might’ve wanted to do the same to you all along.  </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>At work you were someone completely poised and efficient, and yet here you were tonight, both physically and emotionally naked before him, clutching at his chest and drowning in his eyes. Legs and hearts intertwined. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You’d told him stories of your childhood hours ago, gave him little glimpses into your life. But you couldn’t settle on one poignant secret. Instead you just mumble, </span><em><span>“I guess I’m afraid…”</span></em><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“Hm?”</span></em><span> is all says as he pulls you up into him. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“Yeah… that’s it… I’m secretly so afraid -- </span><em><span>of </span><span>everything</span></em><span><em>,”</em> you confess, fluttering your eyelashes against his body as you wake yourself up and lean into his warmth. It may be June, but the windows were all still wide open, letting the occasional brisk draft into the room. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“People think I’m brave and outspoken all the time, but that’s just because there isn’t room for me to be anything else on the job. It’s hard to let people in, when everyone has this particular image of you. And yet, I’m terrified of everything about my work. I’m afraid of seeing death, of disappointing people. I’m afraid of going to Paradis with everyone, I’m afraid of needing to see Colt become the next Beast Titan, I’m afraid for the kids, hell, I’m even afraid of Dr. Brandt.”</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>That one slipped out.</span></em><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>Well, they all kind of did. </span></em><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“Sorry,” you untangle your fingers from his hair, pulling them down to his shoulder and looking away slightly embarrassed, “I didn’t mean to put all of that on you, I’m sure you’re scared too.”</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Porco clicks his tongue at this. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“I always thought that it was weird how an island called Paradis is a supposed hell on earth,” he sneers before softening his tone. “But you don’t need to be afraid, I’ll be right there with you.” He finds your free hand and laces his fingers between yours, his other arm still securely holding you into his chest. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“There will be more than just you there when they pass on titan shifters. It’s natural, we all expect it, we know what our lives are fated to become. I know it doesn’t make it easier to hear, but I’ll be with you when that happens too.”</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He bites his lip, teetering between whether or not he should ask his next question, but he has never been one to mince his words. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“Why Dr. Brandt? That beanpole with the glasses? The guy seems a little stupid for a doctor, but not terrible or anything.”</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Alongside yourself, Dr. Brandt was one of the longest tenured Marleyans in the internment zone’s hospital. Everyone recognized him, and while he was dry and professional with the patients, you cringe a little at how he acts much differently near you. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You scan Porco’s face for his reaction as you choose your next words carefully.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“Yeah… when I work at the general hospital, I find his concept of personal space to be… </span><em><span>lacking</span></em><span>. I’m not so much afraid of him as I am uncomfortable.”</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Scrunching his nose at this, he’s trying not to react or ruin the moment, but you can feel his muscles tense up.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“That’s why I rushed past you and the others earlier today--” he arches an eyebrow, “Nothing happened, but, Magath said he’d be coming along on the mission, as general medical support for the regular troops. I’m just not thrilled about him being there, so that was on my mind earlier today.”</span></p><p>
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  <span>He heaves a heavy sigh as you feel his chest release from beneath you. </span>
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  <span>“Like I said before, I’ll be in Paradis with you.” Running his thumb protectively over the markings on your collarbone, “If you don’t want him near you, then I’m going to make sure he stays away.” He eyes you gently, and while his tone is severe, it’s reassuring to know you have his protection. </span>
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  <span>“Any of the warriors can attest to the fact that you’ve always had our backs. More than any former medical advisor ever has. And, the way you’ll even give the commander grief, if I’m being honest it’s wildly attractive.” He snickers a bit at this, and you know that much is true. As a Marleyan, you can get away with saying and doing more than most, and Magath is well aware of this too.</span>
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  <span>“We want you on this mission.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I </span>
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  <span>want you on this mission,” he repeats, cupping your chin upwards, prompting you to look at him. “It isn’t going to be easy, but I’ll be damned if any douche of a doctor tries to make things any harder for you than it needs to be.”</span>
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  <span>“Thank you, Porco,” you whisper into his skin, pressing your lips to his neck and pulling the duvet higher up over the both of your torsos. Hands, both his and yours, curiously wandering until they settle over somewhere to be comfortable for the rest of the night. </span>
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  <em>
    <span>“I want you to be mine.”</span>
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  <span> He confesses, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>only mine,</span>
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  <span>” and you sink into his words. </span>
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  <em>
    <span>“There’s no one else I want to be with...”</span>
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  <span> you coo sleepily, and once again, the soft kiss of his lips dusts your forehead.</span>
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  <span>Naturally, he was so brash and hard on the outside. To see him so doting and protective was a welcome change.</span>
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  <span>Likewise from Porco's perspective, it felt incredibly intimate seeing you stumble over your words, to share your fears and insecurities, knowing that everyone else working in the Warrior HQ saw you as someone indomitable yet graceful, and always immaculately poised. Yet, he was able to have you unfold at his very words. </span>
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  <span>And with that, he lets you give in to sleep, neither of you having any idea how late it is, but judging by how the sounds on the streets have begun to fade out, it’s very likely well-past midnight. There’s a soft rhythm as his breathing lulls you to sleep, his warmth - body and soul - making you ever-grateful you invited him in.</span>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Consequences</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Slight morning-after content at the beginning of this chapter but nothing overtly sexual this time! ^^; Some fluff as well!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span>The summer sun rises early, its first rays always peeking through the transparent curtains and open windows. Porco was used to waking up before dawn. As tired as he may have felt, a life of militaristic obedience had primed him for nothing less. Making these habits impossible to break.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You, however, were not used to that lifestyle. Still deeply asleep, he could feel the way your soft breaths tickled his chest. But, he knew he’d best be going. As much as he’d love nothing more to stay in bed and wake up with you, there was a nagging feeling in his chest that he’d better make it back to the internment zone before people started stirring there. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He tries to delicately pry your arms away from his body. Shaking his head when he sees how your hands ball into cute little fists at the loss of contact. Though, as quiet as he tries to be, the sound of him doing up his pants and adjusting his belt wakes you from your slumber. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“Pock-”</span></em><span> you call out dreamily, rolling towards him, displacing the blanket just enough to remind him that you are in fact naked beneath those sheets. He swallows back a lump in his throat. As much as he hated that nickname, he forgave you the second he saw the state you’re in. Your body showed through the blankets, hair slightly tousled, and your eyes weak with sleep as they looked up at him. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He sat himself on the bed next to you and leaned all the way down to give you a good morning kiss. He also took this opportunity to pull the duvet back over you. He </span><em><span>reeeally</span></em><span> didn’t need this much of a temptation right now. </span><span><br/></span><em><span><br/></span></em><em><span>“I have to get back before anyone notices, sweetheart.”</span></em><span> He says, cupping a hand to your cheek, but you just sleepily roll into it, not wanting him to leave and as you effortlessly try to give him a good reason to stay. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“When can I see you again?”</span></em><span> you murmur sleepily, your hand finding his, as he rests his heavy palm against your face. You slowly start slowly tracing up his arm, and he leans into you even closer. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“Anytime we’re both free.”</span></em><span> Porco says patting your head and tussling with your hair. It wasn’t a concrete answer, but right now it was all he could think of. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“But, if you’ll be at the festival today, we may accidentally run into each other”</span></em><span> he says mischievously, raising an eyebrow.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span><em>“I’d like for that to happen,”</em> you muse, voice soft and weary, <em>“I’d like that very much.”</em></span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>With that, Porco pulls the blankets up over you even further. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You had met 4 years ago - at the start of his journey as a warrior, and your journey in healthcare. While your career has only been 4 years in the making and has likely hardened you in ways he could only imagine, your features still seemed as soft and pretty as the day you’d met. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He promptly buttoned up his shirt as he walked out into the common area, giving you one last glance over his shoulder. The faint rays of daylight already create a glow against your complexion. Truthfully, in his eyes you were an angel in both spirit and appearance. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>But, he hears the soft ticking of the clock above your kitchen… </span><em><span>5:50am…</span></em><span> If he hurries back now, Reiner may not even be awake before he slips back in the dorms. And with that, he grabs his jacket and messenger bag, quickly on his way - but first proudly looking at the flowers he got you as they brighten up the apartment. <br/></span><span><br/></span><span>____</span><span><br/></span><span><br/><br/></span><span>You sleep until just after 8am, a little later than usual for you, but you bask in the feelings of last night. Thrilled that when you roll to the other side of the bed, you can faintly smell Porco’s cologne on your other pillow. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Wrapping the comforter around you tightly, thinking over everything he told you last night, feeling the physical memories of it all throughout your body. A dull ache gently throbbed between your legs where he had stretched you so fully and so completely. While you wish he could’ve stayed longer, you understood his situation. You just tried to think of ways you could potentially bump into him at the festival. It would surely be busy, but finding him would be half of the fun. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You lazily saunter over to the shower and start to get ready for the day. As you begin to run the water, your reflection in the bathroom mirror catches you off-guard. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Dark purple bite marks absolutely litter your collarbone. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span><em>Those damned jaws…</em> you think to yourself. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>If any other man did this, you’d have been upset. But knowing you couldn’t exactly make your relationship with Porco openly known, having these subtle little markings felt like an inside-joke between the two of you. Besides, you relished knowing how he was so possessive, yet could only act on it behind closed-doors. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>___</span><span><br/></span><span><br/><br/></span><span>You scrub yourself clean in your shower, and put on a loose floral sundress and a light touch of makeup, as you let your hair air-dry. Still smitten from the events of last night, you twirl around your apartment as you hum to yourself with a smile spread across your face. You intend tidy up slightly before heading over to the festival.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>There was promise of food vendors from all over the Marleyan Empire, as well as games and events, all before Willy Tybur’s speech later that evening. With the open window, you could already hear the streets buzzing with life. The energy in town has truly been different ever since the warriors’ return. There’s an excitement and a collective sense of optimism. More than that though, for you, there was a sense of relief. The longer the warriors remained in Liberio, the more secure you’d feel - at least for the present.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You’re wiping down the counters and table tops when you notice that there’s still two wine glasses on your coffee table from last night. You go to collect them, when something catches your eye. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Immediately, you recognize it. Your breath catching in your throat.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>You fall to your knees and clasp you hand over your mouth in shock. Your stomach drops as the consequences of everything you’ve done flashes before you. The gravity of your crimes suddenly feels all too real. Exonerations, executions… capitol punishment for his family… all of these were very possible as you scanned the garment on the floor.  </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>A bright red armband lay discarded on the floor.</span></em> <span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>This morning, Porco had left </span><em><span>your</span></em><span> apartment. </span><em><span>Outside of the internment zone</span></em><span>. Not wearing </span><em><span>his</span></em><span> armband. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>___</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>A FEW HOURS EARLIER</span><span><br/></span><span>___<br/></span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Porco POV:</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Porco slung his messenger bag over his shoulder, hastily making his way down the stairwell in your apartment. The streets were bright, but quiet.The only witnesses to his early morning escape were a few staggering drunkards who’d likely stayed out drinking all night at a nearby pub. In comparison, he probably looked just as rough to anyone who’d notice him. His blonde hair that was usually slicked back was now completely in his heavy eyes - unintentionally parted down the middle, his shirt wrinkled beyond decency. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Yet no matter how poor he looked or how poor he slept, he felt complete. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He hung back slightly as he approached the gates to the internment zone, keeping an eye out for potential Marleyans who might give him some grief. But no one was looking at him, only some early vendors already passing through the gates to set up for the festivities of the day. <br/><br/>He knew he left you when you were still half-asleep, but he hoped you’d heared him, and that the two of you could just “accidentally” meet.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>More than that, he wished he could just go to your door. Invite you out to a normal date like he assumed other couples did. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Truthfully, he’d never been in a proper relationship before. He had messed around with girls, usually while drinking or away from the internment zone. He got a lot of attention, but admittedly girls would usually flock to Reiner first - he fit all the stereotypes of an attractive male, tall, blonde, visibly muscular. But he never had any interest in it. Porco, however, didn’t shy away from attention. And Zeke often encouraged this behaviour, being somewhat of a heathen himself. Zeke always indulged in anything he wanted. Especially when Porco was younger, he easily went along, but in the past year or so, ever since he’d come to terms with his feelings for you, he found himself turning away anyone who came onto him. Even if Zeke encouraged it, Porco was a man who knew what he wanted, and he remained focused on the person he wanted.  </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>After years of cold, professional treatment by your hands - he’d finally gotten through to you. Porco took such a sweet satisfaction in this, it had only been minutes since he kissed your forehead as a goodbye, but he was already in anticipation of your next encounter. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Just as predicted, the guards switched out at 6am, and he trailed behind a horse-drawn cart bringing materials into the main square of Liberio. The echo of hammers and the whinnies of horses rang throughout the nearly empty streets. Still there were very few people out. Outside the internment zone, he doubted anyone knew who he was or what he looked like. But on the inside, he was definitely a more recognizable figure. Among Eldians, warriors were acknowledged with a celebrity-like status. Especially after the capture of Fort Slava - not a single one of them could walk around without someone stopping to thank them. Even Gabi was starting to get a lot of praise by people in the zone for her efforts.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He slipped into the headquarters, and here’s where it got risky. He weaved in and out of corridors, keeping a watch out for any early risers who may see him in this state. When he was outside his bedroom door, he grasped the doorknob slowly, twisting it gingerly, trying not to make a sound. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>As he entered the room though, Reiner shot upwards, startled awake. Not even the quietest of sounds got past him. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span><em>“What the hell, Galliard!?”</em> He says, eyes groggy as he stares the disheveled warrior up and down. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Porco just shrugs and throws his jacket onto his bed, looking through his dresser to find a fresh change of clothes. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“Didn’t expect you to miss me so much, Braun.” Porco chirps.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>They’ve had petty banter going on for over a decade now. And in recent years, the passive aggressive exchanges were the only thing that could make being roommates with one another bearable. <br/><br/></span><span>Reiner just shakes his head, groaning slightly, muttering under his breath how he was in the middle of a good sleep for once. But then the sight of Porco prompts a judgemental glare from Reiner, there's a coldness to him.<br/></span><span><br/></span><span>The glower only intensified as Porco undid a few buttons, only for Reiner to catch sight of a small hickey on his collarbone.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span><em>“Look, I’m not going to snitch on you, but I’m not covering for your reckless ass if anyone asks me about your fun little sleepovers.”</em> Reiner had fully sat up in bed, his voice indifferent, as he adjusted to the daylight.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“Don’t blame me that your lover-girl wasn’t into you and you haven’t been able to move on,” Porco scoffs, “Historia, was it? I’ve seen the way you looked at her - but trust me, she was </span><em><span>never</span></em><span> looking back at you.”</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Reiner rolls his head towards Porco, agitated that he’d always bring up Historia whenever the subject of girls or relationships came up. That’s when Reiner noticed </span><em><span>it</span></em><span>. His eyes narrow as his tone turns venomous, “and who the hell were you with that warranted you removing your armband?”</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><em><span>“My-” Porco is caught off-guard as he goes to touch his upper-arm</span></em><span>. </span><em><span>Only to freeze in horror when he realizes. </span></em><em><span><br/></span></em><em><span><br/></span></em><em><span>Shit.</span></em><em><span><br/></span></em><em><span><br/></span></em><em><span>His shocked expression told Reiner everything he needed to know. </span></em><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>He quickly hardens his face turning to Reiner, “I guess it just fell off.”</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>“They don’t just </span><em><span>fall off</span></em><span>.” Reiner spits, getting slightly more heated with each word. “You better hope it turns up magically, or </span><em><span>whoever you’ve been fucking around with</span></em><span> is worth the your life.” At this, Reiner grabs his uniform, shoving Porco out of the way as he heads to the showers - no doubt needing some distance.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>As the door slammed behind Reiner, Porco slammed his hands on the top of the dresser out of frustration. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Of all the stupid mistakes he could’ve made - this was a very large fuck-up. By all accords.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>It was too risky to go any further. Too risky to tell anyone or try to go back to find you.</span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>Even in the hallways, Commander Magath never permits anyone to be without their armbands. Not even Warriors. Gabi in Fort Slava was the only instance where he’d </span><em><span>ever</span></em><span> even heard of Commander Magath allowing someone to be without their armband. </span><span><br/></span><span><br/></span><span>At this point, he was going to need to confine himself in his room until he could maybe implore Pieck to find you. That would involve telling her </span><em><span>everything,</span></em><span> and while she was his most trustworthy option, he didn’t want to expose you like that.</span><br/><br/>But it would only be a matter of time before someone noticed this mishap. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Markings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hair still damp, you clutch the armband and tuck it into your purse. He left hours ago, and could be anywhere by now, but if any Marleyan guard saw him, he’d be apprehended on sight. <br/><br/>Especially around HQ. You’d hoped maybe he had extras, but judging by how worn it was, it seemed as though this may be his only one. <br/><br/>You clutch your forehead in disbelief. <br/><br/>There’s only so much you can do, but you’d better act quickly. <br/><br/>It’s barely after 10am, but you lace up your sandals and tuck the armband into your purse. <br/><br/>While people were heading to the internment zone in droves, the excitement palpable - you walk there at a quick pace, overtaking the families and groups of kids pooling in together. <br/><br/>Out of habit, you get your lanyard ready as you approach the gates, only to realize that they’re wide open -- guards only there as a formality, but they’re not looking at you; they’re not looking anywhere. <br/><br/><em> A hopeful sign. </em> <br/><br/>At least he probably got back without any harm, you try to hopefully think to yourself. This thought doesn’t quell the anxiety-induced nausea in the pit of your stomach though. <br/><br/>You head to the HQ, if he wasn’t here, his mother’s house was the only other place you could think of. </p><p><br/>And yet, there were so many people out here. The armband was a sure-fire way for you to distinguish the warriors, but you were without that today. <br/><br/>You gritted your teeth and pressed your lips tightly together. It was involuntary at this point, no doubt making you stand out among all the smiling people. But you could only move so quickly, and Porco had left your apartment hours ago. Any number of things could’ve happened in that timeframe. <br/><br/>____ <br/><br/>Walking through the crowds gave you enough time to think of a simple, but viable, plan. <br/><br/><em> If anyone asks, you’re simply going to lie and say a Marleyan General saw you at the festival, told you Galliard was being irritable about pain, so you’re just going to go get some painkillers from your office and drop them by the dormitory. You always package medications in a paper bag, you could slip the armband in, and no one is going to suspect a thing. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> That’s it. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> That’s all you need to do. </em> <br/><br/>You try to reassure yourself by thinking of that outcome, versus the less favorable alternatives. <br/><br/>There’s a chance he was apprehended. If that were the case he’d no doubt be brought into question, only to be accused of treason - no matter what he said. <br/><br/>You suck in your cheeks at the thought, biting them lightly at the bitter fact that Porco Galliard can’t defend himself against treason because he was guilty of it - and so were you. <br/><br/>___ <br/><br/>Your sandals make little <em> click-clack </em> noises all throughout the hallway to your office. There’s a weird sense of vacancy to the building today, only a few lone workers who continue to push through despite the fact that today is supposed to be a holiday. <br/><br/>Once in your office, you fill a small container of painkillers, only 6 or so - all medication needs to be recorded for inventory and records, you want to be realistic. <em> For Porco’s sake, you need to be. </em> <em> <br/></em> <br/>___ <br/><br/>You know very little about the Warrior HQ beyond the first floor and the admin wing upstairs where Magath and some other offices are. All you know beyond that is that the dormitories are mostly on the third floor. Once there though, you can’t discern which room is Gallard’s. There’s just long narrow hallways, with peeling wallpaper and creaky wooden floors. <br/><br/>You consider it a blessing you haven’t run into anyone yet, that is until a voice calls out your name from behind. You nearly jump in shock when you see that it’s Pieck. <br/><br/>“Miss Pieck, I-” your voice is shaky, and you clutch the paper bag, bringing it up to chest level in clear sight, making your purpose evident. <br/><br/>“Don’t you look pretty!” She coos, pulling you into a hug, her fingers touching your sleeves in curiosity. “I love the dress, the flowers are so cute.” <br/><br/>“-was asked to drop off some medicine. Do you know where Galliard’s room is? Infirmary was closed today, so I’d assume-” <br/><br/>Pieck takes your hand, “Of course, of course!” She leads you back through the twists of the hallways - <em> go figure his room would be in the opposite direction. </em> <br/><br/>“Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him since yesterday afternoon… I thought he might have gone to visit his mother, but I guess if he’s not well…” <br/><br/>You nod in agreement, saying nothing, just letting her bring you along - she’s very tiny, but insanely feisty. <br/><br/>“Here he is!” She says, knocking loudly on his door, “ <em> Open up Pock! You’ve got a visitor! </em> ” <br/><br/>From behind the door, you can hear him mumbling something about how he’s not presentable, and how she needs to stop calling him “ <em> Pock </em> .” <br/><br/>You just laugh to yourself about this. Their friendship is close, but it doesn’t concern you. Doing evals with the warriors has afforded you some very helpful insights into the relationships within the warriors’ dynamic. They were close, but more like siblings than anything. While you and Pieck were similar in age, she always gave you the feeling of having an older sister, and was always incredibly accepting of you. Even in your early days of being the Warriors’ medical advisor, she was always patient and understanding. The others warmed up to you overtime, but Pieck was always the easiest to work with. <br/><br/>Pieck shrugs at you apologetically, then proceeds to knock louder. “ <em> Don’t be difficult, Pock, it’s only (f/n) and she has painkillers for you! Somehow you’re reckless enough to get injured even more often than I do... </em> ” <br/><br/>At this, you hear the door knob jiggle a little bit, and there’s Porco - wearing casual clothes, hair wet and slightly disheveled from a shower no doubt. It’s pretty attractive seeing him like this, but you can’t help but stare at him in disbelief. <br/><br/><em> Finding him like this was incredibly lucky. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> Finding him alive was also incredibly lucky. </em> <br/><br/>“Galliard,” you say, keeping up an air of formality in front of Pieck who clung by the doorway. <br/>“Was told you were looking for painkillers,” he shoots you a confused look as your eyes narrow, “ <em> for your arm. </em> ” You grit the words between your teeth and hand him the bag. Only then does he clue in, instantly feeling that there’s more than just a bottle of pill capsules. Breathing an inaudible <em> thank-you </em> as his face softens into a puppy-dog demeanor, and he makes a quick salute. <br/><br/>You just shake your head. “I only gave you 6, that should get you through the festivities. Please let me know if it gets worse.” <br/><br/>“You’d better listen to the doctor,” Pieck chimes in with a sing-song voice. “Now get dressed, we’re going to the festival - the young ones are about to run out of here without us any moment.” She laughs, and you can only imagine how much of a handful it must be to keep up with the candidates. The young ones were all 12, they’re getting older, but still children at the end of the day. <br/><br/>Just as you try to slip out of the room, Pieck catches you, “you should come with us, even for a little bit - I’m sure the kids would love it!” she takes your hands in hers, her sleepy eyes crinkling endearingly. “Unless there’s someone waiting for you…” she trails off, trying her best not to be pushy. <br/><br/>You mull it over in your head, you work with the warriors so often, it wouldn’t be completely unexpected of you to be seen at a festival with the group of them- <br/><br/>“She’ll come,” Porco says with a smirk on his face. “You can’t tell me you’ve possibly got anyone cooler to go with?” He shakes his head so smugly. <br/><br/>You glance between Pieck and Porco, studying their reactions before agreeing. <br/><br/>“Alright, alright! It’ll be nice to spend time with you all in a less formal setting.” <br/><br/>Catching a quick glance at Porco, it’s impossible to miss how widely he’s grinning. His smile stretches ear-to-ear. <br/><br/>“Alright, well, don’t keep us waiting then - get dressed.” <br/><br/>Pieck grabs your arm, “Come on, let’s go find the others, before they run off without us.” <br/><br/>She tours you around the wing before knocking on a few doors, “We’ve got a special guest coming to the festival with us!” She announces, and Zofia peers out of her room first - instantly calling out your name and running to hug you. It was unusually affectionate for a girl as solemn as her, but there was a lightness in the air today. <br/><br/>You pat her shoulders gently. <br/><br/>Soon Udo and Falco pop out of their room as well, each greeting you with cheery smiles. <br/><br/>“Gabi was out early today,” Zofia says, “she’s probably already with Mr. Braun at the festival.” <br/><br/>“Reiner’s going to be there too?” a familiar voice rasps behind you, and you feel a few delicate fingers tickle down your back softly, sending chills throughout your body. <br/><br/><em> Of course. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> Of course he’s going to push his luck all day with you… even though you two -just- had an extremely close call. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> You turn to look at him, trying to give him a stern look, “you sure you’re going to be okay today, Galliard?” <br/><br/>He squeezes his arm in his hand, “already feeling better!” <br/><br/>His red armband crinkles beneath his grip, and his face bears a broad smile. Porco cleans up well, his more formal military wear really accentuates his body. It was expected that he would be in this uniform in public, as were the other warriors. He’s too handsome to be angry with for long, but right now, it’s important to act as natural as possible. <br/><br/><em> He’s so frustrating in his recklessness. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> But you’re glad he’s okay. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> ____ </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> The six of you head out to the festival, by now it was no later than 11am, but the streets were starting to get busy. The younger candidates had started to run ahead, “Wait up!” Pieck calls, “We need to find Gabi and Reiner first!” <br/><br/>This sight was refreshing. The kids were just being… kids. Laughing, skipping down the cobblestone, enjoying the festivities. <br/><br/>It wasn’t long before the young soldiers grew impatient, and you couldn’t help but get them some ice cream. It was a treat they were rarely afforded. You were just handing out the cones to the kids from the vendor, playfully cheersing yours with Pieck and Porco’s. The weather was warm, and while you hadn’t even had time to have breakfast you’d left in such a hurry, the thought of having ice cream for breakfast made you feel weirdly celebratory. <br/><br/>The festivities were one thing, but the events of last night, <em> getting away unscathed and undetected </em> , then to now - just enjoying the day and indulging in the little things. <br/><br/>In reality your friendships felt non-existent. It was a topic you were almost embarrassed to broach with Porco, in fear that he’d think it weird. If it weren’t for Pieck’s invitation, you’d certainly be here alone, unless you happened to run into some of your coworkers - or accidentally into Porco and the warriors, as you’d promised him earlier. <br/><br/>As strange and stressful as the situation was, you’re happy it allowed you the invitation to intermingle among the warriors. <br/><br/>While they were your patients, you held a certain fondness for all of them. They were young, and human, and throughout your tenure you got to know them all quite well to varying degrees. <br/><br/>Suddenly, you hear someone call your name, and a firm hug from around your waist. Looking down, you can see that it’s none other than Gabi. <br/><br/>She’s clung around your floral dress, and you can see Reiner closing the gap, walking up behind her. No doubt they had already had a quick tour of the festival. <br/><br/>“You’re going to be spending the day with us?” She questions, her eyes peering up at yours, shimmering in excitement, bits of honeyed gold flickered in her deep brown pupils. As excitable as Gabi is, this is probably one of the first times you’ve seen her beaming with joy. Not anything like the happiness she feels when she does well or wins at a shooting practice, but genuine, uninhibited joy. <br/><br/>“I’ll be here for a while,” you chime, nodding over to Pieck and Porco. Without giving it a second thought, you get two more ice creams, one for Gabi and one for Reiner. <br/><br/>Reiner tries to politely refuse, but you remind him that you’ve already bought it, and otherwise it’ll only melt. Your tone was dry, and Reiner could tell there was no point in arguing. <br/><br/>“What brings you out here?” Reiner asks, seemingly confused why they’d need medical on their day off. “I invited her!” PIeck interjects, “She was in HQ dropping off medications, figured it’d be good bonding for us all,” she gleams at Reiner, and he nods solemnly. <br/><br/>Crouching down slightly to give Gabi her ice cream, you see her eyes fixate on your neck, <em> “Uh, miss- what is that on your neck? Did you get hurt? </em> ” <br/><br/>You dumbly stop in your tracks for a second. Realizing that you had gotten ready and left your apartment in such a hurry, you didn’t quite think to cover the <em> ‘love bites’ </em> Porco had so generously adorned your neck with last night. Even pulled over you, your cardigan <em> baaarely </em> covers the noticeable ones. <br/><br/>Pure concern in Gabi’s face and tone sends a wave of panic through you. <br/><br/>Glancing up, you notice that this encounter, and Gabi’s loud voice, had garnered the attention of everyone around you. <br/><br/>The young candidates looked at you, wide-eyed and unspokenly worried. <br/><br/>Reiner looked uncharacteristically horrified; as if for some reason the fact his medical advisor had any type of romantic life outside of work was downright criminal. Not to mention the fact that he probably didn’t want his 12-year-old cousin learning about what a hickey was from the medical staff. <br/><br/>Pieck gazed downwards with a shy smile. She knew exactly what a hickey was, but wasn’t about to interrupt this moment. <br/><br/>Meanwhile, Porco met your gaze cheekily bit into his ice cream, directly referencing what his lips were doing hours earlier, grinning at you knowingly. <em> Smug as hell. </em> <br/><br/>“Well, sometimes… I get these marks around my neck. It doesn’t hurt me, so please don’t worry about it - after all I know how to treat all kinds of injuries.” you pat her head reassuringly, smiling at the other young candidates as convincingly as you could. <br/><br/>“It’s funny-” says Gabi, “they kinda look like titan marks, don’t they?” She looks up at Reiner, who takes a step back uncomfortably. <br/><br/>To the side you can hear Porco’s sputtered laughter at the comment, which soon leads to coughing. Of course he’d find that sort of innocuous comment hilarious, or maybe he’s choking because he literally <em> bit </em> his ice cream to tease your situation… <em> if that’s the case, lucky for him you know the Heimlich maneuver... </em> <br/><br/>Swallowing back a lump in his throat, Reiner then says, “Yes, Gabi. Very funny. But they’re not titan markings, don’t forget, she is a Marleyan.” He looks at you grimly, you can’t quite comprehend his reaction here. Something tells you, as good of a relationship you try to have with the Eldians, your presence here made the man uneasy. <br/><br/>There’s a tenseness to Reiner’s tone, and the kids soon forget about your <em> ‘titan marks’ </em> and run ahead, leaving you and the three warriors to trail behind.  <br/><br/>___ <br/><br/>You spend the afternoon rotating between different games and food vendors, trying foods from all over the Marleyan empire. Gabi was really invested in trying everything. She would forever be competitive in every sense imaginable. Meanwhile, Falco tried to keep up with Gabi. Poor boy has a massive crush on the girl, but his efforts usually go unnoticed. Subtle things like passing her a napkin or pointing out stalls to her they haven’t tried out yet. <br/><br/>Udo seemed happy to be able to find dishes from his hometown, revelling in how it was <em> ‘just as good as he’d remembered.’ </em> Meanwhile, even Zofia had been chipper and uncharacteristically sociable. Usually she seemed far too serious for a typical 12-year-old, but today you got a glimpse into just how lovely she would be if she had been afforded an ounce of normalcy in her childhood. <br/><br/>Pieck links arms with you are you weave throughout the crows, “It’s so nice to have another girl around,” she laughs, “sometimes I feel like a mother in this group, between the candidates, and the boys-” she throws her head back accusationally towards Reiner and Porco. <br/><br/>“I can see that,” you agree, “It’s one thing to see you all at work, but this dynamic is…” you shake your head with a smile, trying to find exactly the right word to describe them. <br/><br/><em> “Chaotic.” </em> Pieck states nonchalantly, “you can admit it. We all know it, there’s no need to mind your word choice around us.” <br/><br/>You laugh, relaxing into the setting. Chaotic was a great word to describe it. A few feet ahead, you could hear Gabi’s voice easily dominating over everyone’s. Making it apparent that she was over-excited about something or other; Falco tapping her shoulders trying to calm her down, and Zofia and Udo even interjecting - only adding more fuel to Gabi’s excitement. <br/><br/>“I think it’s important we spend more time together like this,” Pieck starts, “the Commander tells us you’ll be joining us on assignment. There will be fewer formalities there, but I know everyone’s looking forward to you accompanying us.” <br/><br/><em> “Everyone?” </em> You question. It was nice to hear Pieck’s words, but Reiner’s tone earlier was unusual. <br/><br/>“Of course,” she sighs comfortably. “We could’ve used you around on the last mission too; the other doctors don’t quite get that warriors tick a little differently than humans - but you’ve always understood it.” She nudges you with a slight wink. <br/><br/>___ <br/><br/>A few hours had passed, and while you were starting to get a little weary, the kids were still as rambunctious as ever. Gabi was relentless on her rampage. <br/><br/><em> “Rei~ner!” </em> Gabi calls out, clearly on a sugar-high, her hands pressed to the sign of a particular stall, <em> “look at this! It looks SO good! I just HAVE to try it!” </em> Already knowing not to argue, Reiner plunges a hand in the pockets of his military jacket to get his wallet. <em>He would go broke at this festival before he declined Gabi,</em> you thought. <br/><br/>“You sure you don’t want to take a break, Gabi? Maybe play some games? You wouldn’t want to eat yourself sick.” Pieck cautions, just as a mother would. <br/><br/>“Even if she were to get a stomach ache, we’ve got direct access to one of Marley’s best-” Porco interjects, snaking an arm around your waist, his hand firmly clutching at the side of your hip. <br/><br/><em> Seriously- </em> you think to yourself. <br/><br/><em> Leave it to him to be reckless, yet again. You thought you’d made it clear enough that you can’t slip up like this in public. </em> <br/><br/>You try to be subtle, lightly tapping his arm. An indication that he should shirk away - which he promptly does. <br/><br/><em> Your gaze is murderous. </em> <br/><br/>He backs away in protest, eyes brimming with apology, yet not daring to say anything or attract attention. <br/><br/>But when you look up at the group, they’re all engrossed in the options at the food stall. Except Reiner, who’s staring dead in yours and Porco’s direction. You can see the gears turning in his head. <br/><br/>You wait until the group’s excitement subsides, and until Reiner seems to be preoccupied by something the kids want to show him. <br/><br/><em> “Galliard, let’s talk for a moment-” </em> you say, walking him over to a discreet corridor, between buildings and vendor stalls. <br/><br/>He walks over to the cool alleyway, following your lead. <br/><br/>Once the noise dies down in the confined space between the cement buildings, you take a curt look at him, crossing your arms. His brow furrows and he starts to apologize, “I won’t do it again, I wasn’t thinking clearly, it just-” <br/><br/><em>“You said we’d be careful.”</em> Your forehead creases in worry as you speak in a stern but hushed whisper, <em>“this-”</em> you point at your hip, <em>“isn’t careful.”</em> <br/><br/>Suddenly, the wave of all the stresses you've been feeling throughout the morning well up inside of you.<br/><br/>You sigh, exasperated as you lean against the wall. "We were careless last night, and I nearly panicked myself into cardiac arrest this morning because of it-” you then point to your arm, the location where an armband would’ve gone. <br/><br/><em> “Wait-” </em> he stops you, “last night was <em> ‘careless’ </em> for you?” Porco asks, a softened twinge of hurt laces his tone, and now you realize you should have phrased that differently. <br/><br/>“No, no,” you try to take a step forward, but stop yourself before you get too close. “That’s not what I’m referring to…” your voice trails off while you try to find your words. <br/><br/>“So you don’t regret last night?” <br/><br/>“Not at all-” you answer him quickly. Not wanting him to get the wrong idea. “Last night left me the happiest I’ve been in a long time,” you sigh. <br/><br/>He seems both satisfied and relieved with this response. Letting a deep breath escape as his chest falls and he leans back against the wall.  <br/><br/>“It’s just things like forgetting the armband, dropping the formalities in public, the PDA…” you trail off, “Those all put us at risk. We can’t afford risks in this relationship.” <br/><br/>He nods understandingly, and you’re just thankful he’s being receptive to all of this. <br/><br/>“Also,” you continue, wondering if you should even broach this topic, but you go for it anyways. “Braun.” <br/><br/>His head jerks up at the mention of the name, his honeyed eyes wide, knowing very well where this statement of yours is leading. <br/><br/>“Does he suspect anything? Did he say anything to you when you got back? I know you think he’s just a big idiot, but rest assured he’s much smarter than he lets on. He’s been weirdly observant of me today. Usually we get along fine, but I know you two have your problems, and well... he's been unusually short-tempered around me.” <br/><br/>Porco clenches his forehead in between his thumb and index finger. <br/><br/>“Yeah, he did grill me a bit when I got back this morning. I looked pretty rough, so I think he clued in, but he has no idea who. Could’ve just been a random girl from a bar or something for all he cares.” <br/><br/>“Well, I don’t want him to suspect me. You need to do some damage control with him.” <br/><br/>Your tone here is firm. <br/><br/>Porco nods solemnly, “got it, got it.” <br/><br/>“Hell, even mention some other Eldian girls to throw him off from suspecting me, at this point, I don’t-” <br/><br/>“Wait, did you just give me permission to talk about other girls?” He asks, incredulous. <br/><br/>“Only around Reiner. And no acting on it. You need to do some damage control with him, make sure he un-suspects <em>us.”</em> You trusted he would never actively seek out other girls, but just to make it sound believable to Reiner… something had to be done. After all, he knows I'm looking pretty rough today," you sigh, pulling back your cardigan to expose the speckled purple markings. <br/><br/><em> “I see what you mean. So... making Braun un-suspect us, are those Doctor’s orders?” </em> He smirks, and you roll your eyes. <br/><br/><em> “What, I’ve always listened to your medical advice in the past?” </em> He shrugs, all while maintaining his sly, crooked grin. <br/><br/>Even when he’s being agreeable, he’s not without his challenges. But you’ll take it. <br/><br/>“In all seriousness though, I’m sorry, I’ll back off and let you and Pieck have your little girl-date.” <br/><br/>You raise an eyebrow at this, “Her and I have always got along well.” <br/><br/>“I know, it’s cute. Besides, she’s probably happy she doesn’t have to shoulder mine and Braun's bullshit alone today.” <br/><br/>You laugh a bit at this, “It'd be unprofessional for me to speak on my personal opinion of Braun, but I can definitely vouch that you can be a lot to handle at times - especially today.” <br/><br/><em>“I’m still worth it though.”</em> This wasn’t even a question. He just confidently says so, and that’s how it is. <br/><br/>“You’re always worth it,” you tell him reassuringly, wordlessly closing the gap between you. <br/><br/>Now standing beside him, against the cool brick wall, you make your one request clear, “I just don’t want any more close calls if we can prevent them.” Porco nods acknowledging this. You were both out of line with the armband and the hickeys, and he should’ve known better than to wrap his arm around you so publicly - <em> even though you wish he could do that more than anything </em> . <br/><br/>That <em> what-if </em> fantasy hits you like a train. <br/><br/><em> If you were both ‘the same’ you could be out here openly; holding hands, sharing ice cream, whispering intimate little inside jokes to one another before returning home - together. No one would think twice about it, no one would ask questions, and neither of you would be at risk for such minor, everyday interactions. </em> <br/><br/>Subconsciously, you let out a long sigh, catching Porco’s attention immediately. <br/><br/><em> “Everything okay? </em> ” He knows it’s not really okay. In fact, you’re sure he’s just as frustrated by this invisible barrier as you are. <br/><br/>“Yeah… It’s just…” you stumble over your words, trying to convey what you want to say without explicitly stating it out loud. “When can I see you again? Like, <em> only </em> you?” <br/><br/>He pushes his hair back habitually. <br/><br/>“You’re going to Lord Tybur’s speech tonight, right?” <br/><br/>You nod, mentioning that you’ll likely be sitting with the other medical staff who were invited. <br/><br/>“Let’s meet up after, behind the stage, left-rear,” he suggests, “I’m sure everyone will likely still be celebrating and drinking after. We have the whole weekend off. Slipping away from Magath and the others should be no problem.” <br/><br/>“Deal,” you say, “now let's get back to the others, I’m sure <em> ‘Detective Reiner’ </em> is already wondering where we snuck off to-” <br/><br/>Porco snorts a little at the comment before stopping you, “Wait, earlier you said <em> ‘this relationship’ </em> so does that mean we’re...” <br/><br/><em> “Yes, Pock.” </em> You grit in a hushed whisper. “I thought we established that last night?” <br/><br/>“Alright, just checking,” he smirks, “it does sound nice coming from your lips though. And you do look <em> really pretty </em> today.” <br/><br/><em> “Thanks - this is my favourite dress,” </em> you say pulling at the hem, and he smiles easily at this notion. Now that he thinks about it, you have worn this dress a few times at work, and he always thought the colours suited you beautifully. <br/><br/>“By the way, did we just have our first fight?” <br/><br/>You’re taken aback by this comment of his, “I-I guess so… unless you count when we first met?” <br/><br/>“Yeah, I was a dick back then.” He shakes his head, speaking in hushed whispers as you navigate through the crowds trying to find the group of warriors. “I’m really sorry about that, I just had no idea how good you would be.” At this realization, his hand twitches at his side. In this moment he would’ve reached out to hold your hand, but it’s already ingrained in him that PDA is the last thing you want - and with good reason. <br/><br/>The two of you reminisce about the early days some more; how you were so serious and uptight, and he was -as he puts it- a complete and total jerk. <br/><br/>Four years ago, you would have never imagined you’d be walking through a festival with that same man, anticipating the moment where he would wrap you up as his throughout the night. <br/><br/>___<br/><br/><em> <br/></em> <em> “GALLIARD!” </em> Reiner’s deep yell breaks through the crowd, catching both of your attention. You take a step forward alongside Porco, only for Reiner to interject, “ <em> Not you - I said ‘Galliard’ and only Galliard </em> .” You flinch back on instinct. His tone is firm and menacing. <br/><br/>Your reaction and Reiner’s tone don't go unnoticed by Pieck and the candidates. And it especially doesn't go unnoticed by Porco. <br/><br/><em> “-the fuck is his problem?!” </em> Porco jeers, taking a protective step in front of you, his eyes glowering at Reiner. <br/><br/>“Reiner suspects us,” you whisper softly. “You need to talk to him… <em> damage control, </em> remember?” <br/><br/><em> “Doctor’s orders.” </em> He grits through his teeth; <em> he remembers. </em> <br/><br/>“Tell the young ones I had to go anyways, I don’t want them to feel stressed”  <br/><br/>You say this as you gracefully pull away, waving theatrically at the group. “I’ll see you around next week! Don’t eat yourselves sick now, and enjoy the holiday!” You caution warmly. You can see the candidates waving back at you gleefully as they take a break from scarfing down some type of sugary substance. Pieck however is shifting her worried gaze between Reiner and Porco; now she <em>knows</em> something is wrong. <br/><br/><em>Great.</em> You think to yourself. <em>This day could’ve gone so well too…</em> <br/><br/>Defeated, you wander through the streets alone - partially hoping you can find Linda or any coworkers or old acquaintances to bump into - before the sights of happy families and loving couples becomes too painful. <br/><br/>Attempts to swallow the lump in your throat prove futile; you still feel empty. <br/><br/>At this point, you figure it’s just best to return home until it’s time to join the other hospital staff for Willy Tybur’s speech.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Nightmares</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After sunset, you ascend the stairs to the sides of the stage, hoping to find your colleagues among the wings of the mezzanine. <br/><br/>Still wearing your summery floral dress from earlier, but with a more formal coat overtop. Though it was warm, it would no doubt get a little chilly, especially with the outdoor seating. <br/><br/>There was uniform commotion as attendees clamoured into their seats, making chatter, important figures from Marley, reporters from media outlets, and even dignitaries from other colonies and territories of Marley, as well as outside of the Empire, were all in attendance. Lord Tybur had never made a spectacle like this as far as you know, in fact the Tyburs were quite the enigmatic family. People knew them and their legacy, but rarely did they ever come into the spotlight like this - and in an internment zone of all places. <br/><br/>The seating was plentiful, and looking at the attire of the other attendees, you honestly feel a little underdressed. <br/><br/>You’re looking at the letters of the rows in hopes of finding your section, but it doesn’t take long until that beanpole (as Porco called him last night) waves you over. <br/><br/>“Saved ya a seat,” Dr. Brandt says patting at the spot next to him. <br/><br/><em> How considerate,</em> you think to yourself. <em> Of course he’d save a seat right next to him. </em> <br/><br/>“Thank you,” you say between a pressed smile, immediately turning to Linda and Emma. “Good to see you! We’ve definitely got a great view from up here.” You gesture to the stage, all in plain sight. <br/><br/>“I have to say, I definitely have the best view in the house.” Dr. Brandt interjects, smarmy as ever, raising an eyebrow as he stares at you. <br/><br/>This only prompts an involuntary eye roll on your part. <br/><br/>Clearly Lord Tybur’s speech wasn’t going to be the only thing you’d be listening to tonight. <br/><br/>“So, the girls and I are going out for drinks after. You joining too?” <br/><br/>Dr. Brandt looks smugly hopeful on this. He finally has a line of access to you. You can’t shut your office door and hide from him, but tonight you try to shut him down just as quickly. <br/><br/>“I appreciate the invitation, but I promised I’d meet up with someone else after.” <br/><br/>“Well, bring her along? Don’t be difficult.” He puts his hand on your shoulder, playfully nudging it. <br/><br/><em> “He.” </em> You clarify to him dryly, as you brush his hand from your shoulder. “I don’t get to see people outside of work often, busy schedule when HQ is full, so I’m hoping to make the most of having a holiday.” </p><p><br/>Without getting too confrontational, you try to make it abundantly clear that you have no intention of getting drunk with Dr. Brandt in your free time.  <br/><br/>Luckily, Linda enforces this, “She’s right - she’s left after me everyday this week. This girl’s a workaholic,” she laughs. <br/><br/>“Maybe that’s a sign you should work harder?” Emma quips at Linda. And with that, the group falls into a cadence of discussing all the overtime the past weeks have brought them, and plans for things to do once the hospital traffic lessens. <br/><br/>You withdraw slowly from the conversation, knowing full well your workload isn’t going to decrease anytime soon. <br/><br/>Scanning through the lower audience, you look for Porco and the warriors; their military uniforms should make them easy to spot. Soon enough, you glimpse a cluster of children near the front of the stage, off to the end of a row. The candidates, no doubt. <br/><br/>However, you see far fewer than expected. It’s only the candidates. The warriors themselves are nowhere in sight, yet the others are there. You rationalize to yourself that there must be a reason for this, but an uneasiness coaxes itself into the pit of your stomach. <br/><br/>You could be overreacting, but deep down - you don’t like this. <br/><br/>There isn’t much time to worry about this, however, soon enough the stage lights up, and you see Willy Tybur come to the stage. <br/><br/>He’s quite pretty, you think to yourself, and as if on cue, Linda runs her fingers through her short hair, “He has prettier hair than I do…” she sighs. <br/><br/>You promptly tune her out as Tybur gets into his speech though, what initially sounds like a regurgitation of Marley’s history slowly shifts into a tirade about the titans, the founding titan, and Paradis island. <br/><br/>Through your work, you were a little closer to these intrigues than most people in the audience, but still, there was a burning tension that unsettles you as he continues to speak. Of Marley. Of Helos. Of King Fritz. All the while dramatic shadows and actors illustrate the history behind him though. <br/><br/>Suddenly, he says something that evokes a unified shock among the audience. For an instant, it’s so quiet you can hear a pin drop. As he explains the Tybur’s muddy history with King Fritz and Paradis, you feel your mouth twist in disbelief. And looking at your colleagues, it’s clear that they’re all sharing in your reaction. <br/><br/>He then mentions Eren Jaeger, and you instantly recall the name from discussions with Reiner in particular. The warriors’ attack 9 years ago had killed the boy’s mother, and he held the founder who Reiner both desperately sought and feared. <br/><br/>Your mind is moving a mile a minute, trying to understand why Lord Tybur is saying all of this. In front of everyone. <br/><br/>Like lightning, it all pieces together as Tybur announces that this is a ‘<em>declaration of war,</em>’ surfacing what Commander Magath had told you only days earlier.<em><br/></em> <em> <br/></em> At the time, you’d assumed this was something reserved for the future, you didn’t expect it to culminate in this. <br/><br/>And, no sooner did Tybur finish speaking that the stage split into shards of splintered wood, a deafening roar echoing in the pit. The audience around you is frozen in fear. Half unsure if this is part of the spectacle, but in a matter of seconds, it becomes evident: <em> this is the war </em> . <br/><br/>___ <br/><br/>In the floor section of the amphitheatre, stray cement enforcements and shreds of wooden beams littered through the audience, forcibly dispersing them in the bloodiest way possible. <br/><br/>The next few minutes erupt past you in the blink of an eye. The stage thoroughly decimated. Lord Tybur in the air snapped in half. Your knuckles white with how tightly your fists are clenched, but just as you would any hospital emergency, you spring into action - the people in your section already starting to get past their own shock. <br/><em> <br/></em> <em> “Everybody- OUT. Down the stairs-” </em> You yell, grabbing Linda and Doctor Brandt by their wrists. <br/><br/>“I don’t know what <em> THAT </em> is, but it’s not one of Marley’s titans. We’re dead if we stay here.” You spit through your teeth. <br/><br/>This titan just swallowed Willy Tybur in a single, it was absolutely not an ally of Marley, nor was it one of your own trying to eat the Warhammer - hell, no one even knew if Willy himself was a shifter. And if your gut instinct early was any indicator, the situation is only going to get worse. <br/><br/>Beckoning as many people down as you can, then immediately clearing out of the square with your colleagues. <br/><br/>“We should get to the hospital, there’s no doubt going to be injuries - they’ll need assistance.” <br/><br/>Linda and Emma nod in affirmation, immediately ready to head over, but Dr. Brandt looks like he is about to be sick. <br/><br/>“I’m going home, I’m not sticking around to die in an internment zone.” <br/><br/>You snap your neck around so fast, mouth askew, unsure if he actually said what you thought he did. <br/><br/>“People are dying, and you’re a doctor.” You exclaim, dumbfounded. <br/><br/>“And I don’t want to be one of the people dying tonight!” He yells about to head the opposite direction. <br/><br/><em> “You’re also a fucking coward.” </em> You fire back over your shoulder, thoroughly not in the mood to argue. <br/><br/>You rarely get this short with people, but you’ve been over his smug attitude for a while now. And if this is how he feels about the situation tonight, how the hell could he be trusted in Paradis? <br/><br/>“Excuse me?” He seems taken aback, surprised by the fact that you feel the need to rush in. No matter what, there would be chaos - may as well do your job, you reason. <br/><br/>You say nothing - leaving him to save himself, while you just start running to the hospital. Your shoes aren’t forgiving in this sprint, but you’ll bother with the blisters later. <br/><br/>___ <br/><br/>As expected, the hospital is chaos. Packed to the brim. You’re helping Linda lay out white sheets in the courtyard for corpses. They need to be identified, and they cannot take up any more space in the hospital. The bodies only keep piling up at an unreachable pace. At this rate you’ll be out of linens within the hour. You shift to try to help with triage, but the screaming is too loud. <br/><br/>People in pain themselves, people sharply confronted with the loss of loved ones. <br/><br/>The outside of Liberio has become a war zone before your very eyes. The walls of the hospital prevented you from seeing what had been going on outside, but based on frantic cries from the patients, the Warhammer and the Usurper titan had created a battlefield of pure carnage. <br/><br/>Even from within the hospital, you can feel the ground beneath you shake so severely you grab onto a wall momentarily for support. You’ve never felt an earthquake before, but this is how you’d imagine one to feel. <br/><br/>There’s no point in collecting names or creating records when there’s such an urgent surge. <br/><br/>Eventually you find yourself back outside, handing a pile of white sheets and a clipboard to Linda. If family members verify the deceased, please document their names so we can post them publicly once this is over. Don’t let people linger here if they’re not in need of urgent care-” <br/><br/>She takes the materials and nods sharply. <br/><br/>“Oh- and there was someone here who asked for you by name-” She starts clearly flustered <br/><br/>“Me?” You clarify - trying to run through possibilities of who it could possibly be. <br/><br/>“Yes, one of Marley’s brass said that Commander Magath wanted you to the right-side of the town square, he said through the back of the shops is safest. There’s a warrior in critical condition from fighting.” <br/><br/>Your pupils dilate in shock. <em> Of course. Of course the others would be in on this fight. They are soldiers after all. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> But critically injured? </em> <em> <br/></em> <br/>You swallow back a lump in your throat. “Understood - can I trust you to take over here?” <br/><br/>“Of course, ma’am.” Linda salutes promptly, taking the materials and getting to work. <br/><br/>Before rushing to the square, you decide to grab a small bag full of any medical supplies you think you may need: bandages, scissors, disinfectant, painkillers. All the essentials. <br/><br/>___ <br/><br/>Weaving through the buildings was something you do with so much urgency, it doesn’t occur to you that you’re one of the only plainly dressed people in sight.<br/><br/>The rest, soldiers of Marley, their uniforms unmistakeable.<br/><br/>Shattered glass. Dust. Soot. And Marleyan soldiers in full gear were the only sights on the streets. <br/><br/>You’re halfway there when two soldiers stop you, “No civilian entry beyond this point.” <br/><br/>Their tones firm, rifles clutched to their chests. <br/><br/>“I’m not a civilian, I’m medical!” You protest, raising your bag and trying to push through. They only push back eyeing you skeptically. <br/><br/>Frustrated, you gesture at the blood all over you from your 30-or-so-minutes at the hospital. “I’m chief medical advisor for the Warrior Unit- I just came from the hospital.” Again they eye you skeptically. Clearly not taking someone so young, in a bloodied floral print dress no less, with any ounce of seriousness. <br/><br/>“One of them is in critical condition. Commander Magath relayed for me to get to the right-side of the stage. Now - you can deny me entry here and tell Magath yourselves that you turned me away, or you can escort me there personally.” <br/><br/>Evidently, you’re not in the mood to argue, and eventually they concede. <br/><br/>The larger of the two men cocks his rifle, looking up at the sky, before saying <em> “follow me” </em> in a gruff voice as he leads you to the centre. The rubble only intensifies with every step. Each step becoming increasingly difficult to not cut yourself. <br/><br/>Between the gaps between buildings, you can hear it before you see it. The roars of the very titan who ripped the stage and Willy Tybur apart echoed, along with brisk whirring noises overhead. Bright blue iridescent shards penetrate the ground in the distance. The soldier before you’s eyes don’t leave the sky. <br/><br/>It’s not long before you reach another cluster of Marleyan soldiers. <br/><br/>“Where’s the injured warrior?” He calls out to them. “Little lady here says Commander Magath called her here, claims to be medical?” <br/><br/>You shudder a bit at the notion of being referred to as <em> ‘little lady.’ </em> <br/><br/>He has a tone of condescension that you would normally combat, but not tonight. <br/><br/>You’re too busy taking in the sights of everything around you. <br/><br/>There’s no way this is the same arena you’d been in less than an hour ago. <br/><br/>___ <br/><br/>The soldiers lead you over to a covered area, and you see Falco and Gabi hovering over a body. It was Pieck: eyes glazed over, covered in blood, barely emitting any steam. <br/><br/><em> She’s not healing. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> Dammit. </em> <br/><br/>Immediately you rush to her side and get to work. You earnestly try to focus on Pieck in front of you, but the rampage off in the distance sends chills through you. <br/><br/>The jaw titan is out in full force, leaping across rooftops, swiping at the rogue titan given the opportunity. <br/><br/>You’re disinfecting Pieck’s stomach wounds and cleaning her thoroughly, all while Gabi and Falco try to fill you in. <br/><br/><em> “That titan is the… founder..? In Marley?” </em> You mumble in disbelief. Gabi and Falco are obviously distressed. Both their fists clenched. You realize it’s best not to press them for anything. <br/><br/>“It’ll be okay,” You say, unsure if you’re speaking to the kids, Pieck, or yourself at this point. “Pieck will be okay soon, and Galliard can wear that titan down.” <br/><br/>But you know that Pieck is still bleeding, and Porco always pushes himself well beyond his limits. <br/><br/>Soon enough, you run out of what little bandages you did bring. Going up and around Pieck’s abdomen so many times. How you thought one spool of bandage would be enough is beyond you - but it’s something you’ll attribute to the chaos back at the hospital. <br/><br/>Without hesitation you rip a few inches from the hem of your dress, thankfully it went past your knees so there was plenty of fabric to work with. You wrap it gently around Pieck to finish the dressing. “You did tell me you liked the fabric earlier, right?” you tell her softly, hoping it’ll prompt somewhat of a response. But there’s nothing, just a listlessness and a weak heartbeat. She’s alive, but needs rest to heal. <br/><br/>You recline a bit to the side, “It’ll be okay,” you repeat, brushing her matted hair from her brow, “you did your best, and you're safe now.” <br/><br/>It probably won’t be safe to move her for some time, so you take off your coat and fold it, placing it gently beneath her head. Her eyes glassy and removed, but you’re hoping this will at least make it comfortable despite how horrendous the noises outside sound. <br/><br/>The ruckus had blown out every building’s window, it was just you, Pieck, Gabi, Falco, and a few stationary Marleyan troops. <br/><br/>Once you’re assured that Pieck is as stable as she can be, you turn to them and begin your inquiry, “I see that Po-- I mean, Galliard is out there, but where are the others? Yeager? Braun? The Tybur’s Warhammer? Has it really been <em> that </em> brutal out there?” <br/><br/>The Marleyan soldiers stand silent, it’s Falco who fills you in. “Mr. Braun is unconscious behind the stage…” he starts, almost in a whisper, “he was protecting me… Mr. Yeager was taken down first, and Miss Tybur is in the crystal.” <br/><br/>Your eyes narrow as you get a closer look, it was clearly the holder of the Warhammer within the crystal, unable to use her titan - being used as a shield against Porco’s attacks. <br/><br/>“And there are people around them?” you say, noting figures zipping overhead in black uniforms. <br/><br/>“They’re soldiers from Paradis,” Falco answers. Gabi clenches her fists around the windowsill she’s leaning against, “One of them used their sword to break Mr. Galliard’s jaw earlier. He can only use his claws right now.” <br/><em> <br/></em> <em> Shit. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> Your stomach sinks at this. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> It’s far worse than you thought, but you need to trust that Porco can handle this. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> He’s always made it through any mission you’ve seen him after. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> And, if anyone on this earth has you beat in tenacity, it’s Porco Galliard. </em> <br/><br/>Wordlessly, you linger behind the kids, masking your nervousness so they don’t pick up on it. But here, you’re a helpless bystander; powerless to do nothing but wait until the next Warrior needs you - which at this rate, will very likely be Porco. <br/><br/>___ <br/><br/>What comes next all happens so rapidly, an airship appears overhead, and there’s a number of Paradis soldiers that tether themselves to it. They’re retreating. But Porco isn’t having it. <br/><br/>He leaps from a building, making a lunge for Eren Yeager, but in a fell-swipe, a Paradis soldier cleanly slices both of his legs, and with a deafening crash they fall to the ground, followed by Porco’s upper body. <br/><br/>Before he can even try to retreat or recover, the enemy titan rips his arms off, limb by limb - carelessly hurling them into the nearby buildings. <br/><br/>You take a step back in horror. Hands clasped over your mouth, as you nearly trip backwards over your medical bag. <br/><br/>Gabi and Falco both silent, watching wordlessly as Eren Jaeger strips your lover of any fighting chance. Then, placing the Warhammer’s crystal between Porco’s jaw, begins the crushing of both the crystal and Marley’s chances. Not to mention how brutally unbearable this must be for Porco. <br/><br/>It’s completely silent - your knees tremble as your hand stays over your mouth, too horrified to look away - until Eren pushes enough to break through; the crystal erupts into millions of glass shards mixed with blood. <br/><br/>The sight of blood thickly trickling down the titans neck enough to make you want to vomit, if you weren’t in complete shock. <br/><br/>“What… happened..?” Gabi asks in a weak whisper. <br/><br/>You struggle to find your words, but thankfully a Marleyan soldier speaks up nearby. <br/><br/>“Eren Jaeger has eaten the Warhammer, and the Jaw Titan is next.” <br/><br/>Your mind goes blank as you rush to the glassless window, not even noticing how the tears stream down your face. Gabi and Falco are screaming for Reiner, their cries echoing loudly, only paired with the sound of Eren Jaeger, mercilessly slamming Porco Galliard into the ground… <br/><br/>Over… <br/><br/>And over… <br/><br/>Until the point where the impacts cause his titan mask to fracture. It was only a matter of minutes at most before Eren Jaeger stole another titan from Marley, and the most important person in your life from you. <br/><br/>You’re staring mindlessly at the assault, you want to scream, but your mouth won’t move. You’re so fixated and so planted in that stance, your eyes not leaving the monster with his devil-claws kneaded into the Jaw Titan’s hair. <br/><br/>The only event that breaks your concentration is an explosive eruption and beam of light from amidst the rubble. <br/><br/><em> “Ohthankgod.” </em> you sigh in one breath, falling to your knees next to the children, your hands kneading up into your hairline as your elbows prop you up against the windowsill. <br/><br/><em> It’s the Armour Titan. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> A weakened Armoured Titan based on the sparseness of his armour; but Reiner’s presence is enough to deter Eren from finishing off Porco. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> A last-minute miracle. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> But it’s not too late. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> <em> It can’t be too late. </em> <br/><br/>You begin taking deep breaths, not realizing how much of a panicked state you were in until you have a moment to compose yourself. <br/><br/>____ <br/><br/>You remain watchful over Porco, no matter the surrounding commotion, praying his listless body will do anything. But there’s no sign of movement, no sign of steam or recovery, no sign of life. <br/><br/>No sooner are the soldiers from Paradis retreating, then the Marleyan soldiers are pouring into the battlefield to retrieve the shifters. Instantly, you forget the tears stinging your eyes, and snap into doctor-mode. <br/><br/>You grab your medical bag and push into the solder nearby, <em> “Bring Pieck to the medical wing at HQ. NOW.” </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> It took long enough for you to find your voice, but here it is. <br/><br/><em> “Gabi, Falco - I’m going after Galliard and Braun, please meet me back at HQ tonight. I’m assessing them first, but will need to see you after.” </em> <br/><br/>They nod at you understandingly. The time for you to be idle is over, and getting to work was the only thing grounding you in this night of hellish upheaval. <br/><br/><em> ‘They just need to be okay…’ </em> you think to yourself, <em> ‘I have to make sure of it.’<br/><br/>____<br/><br/></em></p><p>Your body awakens before your eyes open. All you feel is warmth around you as you start to flutter your eyelashes open. Whatever amount of sleep you got wasn’t nearly enough, your face matted into the bedsheets. Your body slowly coming to life as you lift yourself off the bed sheets, but you realize quickly you didn’t quite fall asleep on a bed.<br/><br/>“Well, good morning there, sleepy head.” A familiar, gruff voice stirs you. <em> Porco’s voice. </em> <br/><br/><em> “...shit,” </em> you mutter, pulling away slowly, looking at an imprint of dirt, soot, and blood that had meshed in with the blanket. You realize your eyes are sore and swollen from crying as the memories of last night assail you. <br/><br/><em> “I guess it wasn’t a dream…” </em> your eyes adjust to the dimly lit room. Early traces of sunrise peak through, and you recognize the room as part of the infirmary at headquarters. <br/><br/>“Nightmare is a better word.” Porco cuts in, his voice just as empty as his face. <br/><br/>Much to your embarrassment, you realize that you’d fallen asleep pressed into Porco’s chest, hands firmly grabbing into his bedsheets, sitting at his bedside. The warmth you felt was the steam from his wounded body. <br/><br/>Unhinging your white-knuckled hands from his sheets, everything about you softens as you look back up at him, incredulous. <br/><br/>Porco stares beyond you apologetically. Not quite making eye-contact, and not having anything to say beyond the fact that, <em> yes, nightmare was the better word to describe everything. </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> <br/></em> It’s so warm against him, but it’s comforting. In your sleep-deprived state, it slips your mind for a few minutes that you’re in an open infirmary room. You lay your head back into his chest as you dance your fingers softly up the blanket. Feeling the heat emanating from the toned muscles of his chest meant he was real, the steam meant he was alive - that he was healing. <br/><br/>“How long have you been awake?” you ask, trying to blink the tiredness away from your eyes. <br/><br/>“A while.” <br/><br/>“And the others?” Looking around the room, Porco has the middle bed, Reiner and Pieck are in both the corner sides of the room, but Reiner seems to still be out cold - just as he was on intake, and Pieck appears fast asleep, her face buried in her curls as she curled up on her side. Meanwhile, closer to the door was Colt, still in his uniform. He seemed to have fallen asleep on the couch waiting for someone to wake up. <br/><br/>“They’ve been asleep since I woke up.” <br/><br/>Porco’s tone is distant, but he’s here - and he’s responsive. <br/><br/>“You should sleep too,” he adds, looking at your position and shaking his head. You’re hunched over his bed while sitting in a chair. “There’s no way that’s comfortable.” <br/><br/>“I’ve slept better,” you sigh, pushing his hair from his brow. He’s healing, but it’s still evident he’s not in good shape. Blonde tresses completely out of place, not to mention the soot and dirt everywhere. <br/><br/>You try to slip a hand under the blanket to hold his hand, but he shrugs away. <br/><br/>“Wha- you know I’m not-” his honey eyes widen as he struggles to move away. “I’m sorry- I’m just not… <em> fully me </em> right now. You get it, right?” </p><p><br/>It clicks in your head that he’s not fully healed yet. <br/><br/><em> “I know you’re probably used to seeing these things, but I guess I’m just not used to showing you…” </em> He trails off a little embarrassed. <br/><br/>As hard as his exterior was, he was deeply shy about ever appearing as anything less than perfect. You knew he’d pull you in his arms if he could, but in his current state, he looked and felt like a fraction of the man he wanted to be for you. He’s always been so full of bravado, only to talk to you more sentimentally when the occasion allowed for it. You pull your hand away tracing back up to his broad shoulders, squeezing him firmly, head still against his chest. <br/><br/>“I guess I should get going before the others wake up,” you mutter reluctantly, noting how the sunrise is only getting higher. <br/><br/>He grunts in response. <br/><br/>Unknowingly, the two of you think about how nearly 24 hours ago, you were both wrapped up in one another. Naively unaware that you’d be entangled in an entirely different way the next morning. <br/><br/>“Yeah, I know I’ll be back around HQ later today, just based on… everything. You nod your head around at the patient-filled beds in the room. I should probably just get ho-” <br/><br/>“What is it?” Porco says, trying to sit up a little more as you push yourself from his chest. <br/><br/>“It’s…” you bite your lip, really getting a taste for the soot and grime that got caught in there. “I have to go home, but I don’t know how bad things are in my area. Even though I’m outside the zone, I’m not that far from here.” <br/><br/>You glimpse him looking at you with a wordless concern, and realize he probably blames himself immensely for any destruction caused. <br/><br/>“I’m sure it’ll be fine though,” you say, “don’t worry about me, but let’s meet up later today, okay?” <br/><br/>“Of course.” He nods, “and be safe out there.” <br/><br/>You cup his face in your hands, pressing a kiss to his lips. <br/><br/>“And you- get well soon. Doctor’s orders” you throw him a quick wink before gathering yourself. Feeling just how strained your legs are, and how blisters seem to come to life around your heels and toes, you grimace slightly as you stand regardless, pushing against his sturdy chest for support. <br/><br/>Porco turns to you, concerned. “I knew that position couldn’t be <em> that </em> comfortable-” His hazel eyes dart down to your legs “-uh… and what happened to your dress?” He raises an eyebrow in confusion. You haven’t taken a proper look at yourself, but based on the state of your dress and the ashes on your palms, you certainly must have looked like a complete mess to him. <br/><br/>“Oh, yeah… I didn’t bring enough bandages to the stage last night. Had to improvise.” You shrug. <br/><br/>“Anyways, I better-” <br/><br/>And as if on cue, you hear a voice call your name as the heavy wooden door creaks open. It’s Magath. <br/><br/>His eyes sunken as always, but it looked as though he didn’t sleep either. He looks around the room and sees the bed-rested, sleeping warriors. <br/><br/>Funnily enough, you take a look back down at Porco and see that he turned his face away from the door, pretending to sleep with his eyes closed and everything. Adorable, you think to yourself. He may be awake but you don’t fault him for being too tired to deal with Magath after everything that happened. <br/><br/>In a hushed voice, Magath beckons you out into the hallway. “A word, if you will.” he says grimly, and you shuffle over obligingly, softly glancing over Pieck and Colt on your way out, quietly shutting the door behind you, as you turn to face Magath in the hall. Surprised to see an almost sympathetic expression on his face. <br/><br/>____ <br/><br/>Porco’s POV. <br/><br/>The sun continued to rise, and as much as he needed it, sleep evaded him. He shouldn’t have underestimated the Ackermans. Zeke’s prattling about a certain Captain Levi wasn’t baseless after all. Obviously Levi was the quick one who severed his jaw before he could take the founder. <br/><br/>Speaking of which, he wondered to himself why Zeke wasn't here? And why Colt was passed out on a sofa? <br/><br/>So many questions, but sure enough they’d be answered soon. <br/><br/>Immobile with his slow-healing limbs, he was left with nothing to do but stare and think… think about all the events that allowed the guilt to emanate through him. The Tybur family held the Warhammer for a century, until last night, all because he let Eren Jaeger take his jaws and use him like a fucking tool- <br/><br/>“Hey... Pock?” <br/><br/>Pieck’s voice weakly interrupts, and he’s thankful for that. <br/><br/>“Pieck, how are y-” his voice catches in his throat as he notices a familiar floral pattern wrapped around Pieck’s body. <br/><br/><em> Your favourite dress, </em> he remembers soberly, absently staring at the shredded fabric. <br/><br/>“I’m pretty tired, but what's that look for, Pock? Everything alright with you?” <br/><br/>He raises a half-formed arm and rolls his eyes back. <br/><br/>“I haven’t been this fucked up in a while, but what about you? And what’s on your stomach?” <br/><br/>“Oh, um,” she places a few fingers to delicately trace along the fabric. Clearly she had been out of commission longer, or just taken less damage altogether if her limbs were already formed. <br/><br/>“My memory is pretty hazy, but it’s f/n’s dress, I think she ran out of bandages dressing me. I was pretty out of it when she arrived though.” <br/><br/>Porco’s stomach dropped. If you were there to help Pieck, that means you likely saw <em> everything. </em> Including just how pathetic he was; how he had allowed Eren Jaeger to escape with the founder, and also brutalized his jaws to steal the warhammer. <br/><br/><em> “Dammit…” </em> he whispers under his breath. <br/><em> <br/></em> <em> “What is it, Pock?” </em> <br/><br/><em> “Nothing, just- just stop calling me that.” </em> A telltale sign he was getting a little annoyed and very sensitive. <br/><br/><em> “Are you..? And her..?” </em> Pieck raised her eyes in curiosity, propping herself on her elbows. Pieck never used to suspect anything, but during the festival, Porco had been incredibly touchy ever since you departed from the group. This agitation only grew worse when your name came up in conversation. Definitely not normal behaviour, even if Porco is usually a little hot-headed. And there are definitely the type of subtleties Pieck would pick up on. <br/><br/><br/>"It’s none of your business, Pieck.” He says coldly. Colder than he had intended. Noticing how Pieck flinches at the sharpness of his words, he softens up a bit, adjusting his body as best he can. “Don’t ask about it. For your own good, please.” His brows soften and his nose wrinkles slightly - he’s wrought with guilt, and his expression plainly admits to everything Pieck needs to know. <br/><br/>She drops back down into the mattress with a soft thud, her charcoal curls falling into her forehead. “ <em> Well, you know I could say things on the topic, but today isn’t the day for that. And at the end of the day, you’re always going to do things your way. That’s just how you are, Pock.” </em> She says, solemn and factual, but never condescending. More sympathetic than anything. <br/><br/>For a while there’s a long silence between them. Occasionally looking over to Reiner or Colt, but neither stirs. Mostly, Porco and Pieck just lay in their beds, processing the events of last night. </p><p><em> Frustrated, his blonde hair in his eyes solves nothing. He can’t even brush it away. Helpless to lie in his discomfort for the remainder of the morning.<br/><br/><br/></em> <br/><br/></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oooh~ Pieck knows now...</p><p>&amp; Thank you so much everyone for all the patience and kind comments &lt;3</p><p>Reading comments/reviews really is my fav part of writing ;__;</p><p>This is a bit of a long one, with a bit more plot, but the next chapter will be very Reader x Porco focused, so please look forward to that!</p><p>I've had really bad writer's block this past month, and have been super busy with work and exams, but I'm hoping I can get past it soon so I can stockpile a bunch of chapters and hopefully get this work done over the next couple months! (I have quite a few chapters planned, just very little time, but maybe re-watching season 4 will give me some more motivation :) )</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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